It's been 2 years since I left Malaysia for Singapore, to further my studies in what I think is a better and much more competitive environment of Hwa Chong. It's also been 2 years since I left my alma mater Lick Hung and see my ex-classmates of 6I/05. It was the time, alas, for a class reunion.
I had known, that previously, class reunions were held, only that I wasn't in the vicinity of Malaysia to actually attend them. However, I need to get down to what I feel - the reunion was a total letdown. Everything about it wasn't really good, to be straight and precise, a right failure.
Reasons being,
The date: it's the holiday period. People go to other countries during this period!
The activities: They were not properly planned out. (explaining later)
The organiser: Did not attend the reunion herself. (She said it was because of a certain emergency, and I gave her the benifit of my trust).
Myself: Maybe, just maybe, it's just me. It's my fault...?
So this was the plan, to meet at Sunway Pyramid's main entrance at 1230pm. I had arrived at 1220, as my sister was planning to go for Monash University's (which was near Pyramid) open day. My parents dropped me at the main entrance. I am usually a punctual person, however, I waited until 1250 pm, to see the first person from my class. Fine, at around 1, only 7 people were there. I already had a feeling that this wasn't destined to be fun...
We decided that no one else was coming, so we went on to the plan. Uh uh, sorry, there wasn't a plan at all. Everything was decided spontaneously, whether I (or anyone) wanted it or not. Before that, I already knew that something like that was going to happen. NO PLANS. If a reunion were to be planned under my hands, I would make sure there was a plan, like ice-skating, catching a movie, chatting at Starbucks... This could make an ultimately sucessful reunion! So this was it, someone suggested to catch a movie. And by that time, I was already disappointed that I went "whatever" (though I didn't say that out). And throughout the reunion, I didn't talk much... Only answering some questions, those that I get all the time (how's life in Singapore? how much allowance per month).
Now moving on to the people who came, 3 girls, 4 boys. 2 girls out of the 3, were closer friends during primary school. None of the boys were close friends (friends, yes, not CLOSE friends) when I was in primary school. Then, I was seated more to the front, and they were seated at the back, so, you get the idea... We didn't talk much, as a matter a fact, and found myself more comfortable with the girls.
When you go out to malls and places in Singapore/Malaysia, one sight that you cannot miss are monkey teenagers making noise and swearing in public and fooling around. Those were the type of boys who came to the reunion. I am usually associated with being quiet and reserved outdoors, I think of what people out there would think of me with my every action. And so we went up the escalator leading to the cinema, one of them sat of the railing of the escalator while talking to the others in loud, bashful and oh-I-don't-care-about-the-world-but-only-the-conversation-I-am-having manner. I felt thoroughly embarassed by those attitudes of theirs, and began looking at my shoes, as though there were something on it, and also stepping down a step from the escalator.
What's noticable was that the girls were pretty much left out. Those guys just care about themselves and their world. They walked fast, leaving the girls to catch up with them. And there was I, walking in the middle of both groups, so that I wouldn't leave either one behind. And thanks to my thoughtfulness, I'd bet that some of them would be now talking about how anti-social I am, walking alone, since I already heard some 学政很少讲话s, 学政是乖乖仔s along the way, behind my back, thinking I couldn't listen. I wouldn't be a bit surprised if there was 学政超级不友善s, 学政很不合群s.
True, I did not talk much throughout the event. That's why partially, I listed one of the reasons of the reunion being a failure as "Myself". Being separated from the Malaysian world for 2 years, I'd move on, they'd move on. I made new friends; they made new friends, but at the same time they kept old friends. They can contact through SMS, through school. Their friendship tightened, our friendship remained, or maybe even worse. Topics they talked about don't suit me, don't include me, don't interest me... The girls, well, talked about girl stuff and I couldn't possibly join in...
We bought 6 tickets as one of the girls couldn't make it (she had to leave early). Later, 3 more guys arrived, none of them I could talk to easily and comfortably as before. The only things that I talked to them, was my life in Singapore, as they asked, after they noticed my long periods of silence.
As there was still time, one guy said "let's go to pool/snooker", and without a word, marched off to the pool centre, located in the bowling centre. No opinions were asked, and since I was already in "whatever" mode. I tagged along. I noticed the girls weren't that interested, and so was I. But they'd tag along too. So we watched as those monkey guys played, and occasionally, made fools out of themselves.
The plan that wasn't a plan was actually to have lunch after they finished their game. However, one game led to another, and soon, it was time for the movie (1430pm). I hadn't had any breakfast, naturally, I was hungry. So, we headed for the cinema. I bought popcorn and a drink and waited for them to buy theirs. Now, 9 people and 6 tickets. The girls took 2 tickets from the guy keeping them. Then, he handed the remaining 4 tickets folded and said to that worker, "tickets for 6 people". That's how all of us got into the cinema... Though I did strongly disapprove, I did not say a word but instead I gave him an icy stare. He did not notice though, with all the talking going on with the other people. They laughed about how that worker did not realise or check the tickets.
I watched Alvin And The Chipmunks, by the way, which was a rather lame movie despite of the cute chipmunk songs. It got a few laughs from me, despite everything that was happening today. When it ended, everyone needed a toilet break, so we went to toilet. Naturally, the girls were slower. During the wait, they'd complain about the girls taking a long time and walk a few steps further away from the toilet. I half-followed them and then refrained again because I wanted to be here AND there at the same time. Again, not to leave any group of people behind.
After that, the girls announced that they had to leave. The guys said they wanted to catch another movie (I Am Legend) starting at 7pm. Since the girls were leaving, I had no fun at all, and I already watched a movie today which was more than enough, I said that I had to leave too. Then, I left in much of a hurry, waving to them goodbye. So that disastrous reunion becomes their boy-bonding thing. And so, end of story. I considered calling this post "More Ramblings", and decided against it. These are complaints, far from the milder term of ramblings.
============================================================
I have a few things to say in Chinese. Usually, I use the lighter and easier language of English to compose, and I have yet to post in Chinese. However, this time, I feel that the use of Chinese shows and describes the heaviness in my tone and my feelings better.
“保持联络”，在这次班聚是做到了，何况是小猫几只。以前，在新加坡，也曾有想念小学朋友们的时候。今天，看到他们，却有一种“干脆不搞班聚”的想法，可说是非常矛盾。也许是我自己吧，我要求太高，我不求实际，我自私。但到头来，自己也想有一个完美有享受的班聚……
这次失败的经验，更是让我恐惧下一个班聚。会不会像上一次那样的失败？以后的班聚，我该不该参加？到了新加坡将近两年了，感觉与小学朋友的感情越来越生疏，这次的班聚，更让我看清楚这点。不是我不想跟他们说话、不想和他们交往，但两年的时间真的让我们之间的距离越来越远。我喜欢的话题，你们不喜欢；你们喜欢的话题，我不会欣赏……
人家说，时间可以冲淡一切。这句话，此时此刻的我，终于明白了…… 班聚，因该是一个让大家叙旧、重温当年大家的愚蠢、快乐、悲哀…… 今天的班聚，却是谈无谓的话题：游戏、电影…… 我今天刚听到我姐姐说，她以前的班聚，整个下午都坐在餐厅里叙叙旧、谈谈大家的近况等。这，才是完美的班聚，举办班聚的原因啊！
现在的我，只可用徐志摩“再别康桥”中的一句话来形容：“悄悄的我走了，正如我悄悄的来；我挥一挥衣袖，不带走一片云彩”。此句，显出了当时徐志摩离开康桥时，心中其实是有多么的不舍。我的确是不舍得我的朋友们，但今天我所见所闻，我只能悄悄的回到新加坡去，不带走这次班聚任何不好的回忆（云彩），并希望以后可以参加一个更好的班聚! 但愿如此! 哎……
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
7 comment(s):
Hey~ Juz a few things to share with u~
首先，我想问，除了假日以外，还有什么时候是你们能举行班聚的呢？
其实，这些事情完全不是你的错~
从你的文笔里看得出你很努力的徘徊在男生与女生之间，但男生的不合群，没礼貌，让你很难与他们沟通，是吧？
其实呢，如你所说，他们都不是你要好的朋友，所以就算有共同话题要谈，他们也不会和你说话的~
班聚吗，最主要的是看见老朋友，开开心心地在一起谈天~ 既然约处来的人都不太算是很好的朋友，那干脆别去呀~ 又或者，你可以主动去约你的好朋友，一起搞班聚呀~
这次的班聚，主要是错在于没有精细的策划，不然，以我们主席的领导能力与策划能力，还有什么事难得倒他呢？
哈哈~ 希望你能够利用这有限的假期，再举办多一次班聚吧！
祝：
下一次班聚成功~
摆脱悲伤，期待未来~
志豪 友启
"除了假日以外，还有什么时候是你们能举行班聚的呢？" 其实，我的"holiday period" 指的是大部分人会出国旅游的期间：十二月尾这个时候。
问题是，搞班聚并不是我。请的人是全班。我怎么会料到，来的人大致上都不算很好朋友呢？其实，早知道的话，我根本就不回去的……想到我去之前，还开开心心拿着相机，想拍照留念。结果，连一张相片都没拍到……一切发生了，我怎还有心情拍照呢？
搞另外一个班聚？我看这是不可能的吧！我离开大马将近两年，连一个老同学的手机号码都没有，只能使用friendster或facebook这些管道通知他们。这方法不太有效。这次的班聚是因为使用这样的管道通知我们，才会那么的失败……况且，假期将结束了，我需要时间收拾、准备并回到新加坡去……
PS：我已经不是主席了啦…… :)
取舍
班聚本是乐事一桩，但处理不当却引人生厌
我在小学的班级，还算有保持联络了
去年，我们在购物中心举行班聚
大部分的时间我都在看别人玩
注意，是玩，不是叙旧
那次的聚会我个人觉得很失败
说俗点，很显。
今年的班聚，相信你们也读了我的部落客
可能是因为再一个较为私人的地点举行
我觉得这一聚，聚得比去年舒服多了
在一个私人的地方聚会，
没有购物中心的琳琅满目，没有各种各样的东西来分散大家的注意力
比较适合叙旧吧。。。
可能会有人不同意我说的话，
有些人喜欢和朋友出外逛街，购物
可是我本身比较喜欢真诚地畅谈、叙旧
相信你和我有同样的想法吧
其实，有些人就是和自己有着不同的看法
就如你的那些男同学和你的想法、习惯有所不同
看得出你相当努力的在尝试要做到两全其美
想和女生社交，也不想忽略那些男生
我的看法是有时候，我们必须相信 鱼与熊掌，不能兼得
人不是完美的，没有必要过于追求完美。
如果和那些男生不投机，点头之交也就算了
强求要成为挚友也是白费
在人生的道路上，选择朋友是需要作出一些取舍的。
周密安排未必是最重要
你在文章中提到，这次你们班聚不太成功可能是缺乏策划所造成。
对于这个问题。我想说几句。
周密的安排，在一定限度以内是好事，毕竟完善的策划可以避免不好的突发情况。
可是老友叙旧，未必需要花太多的心思去大肆策划
我个人觉得，主要的重点在于朋友之间的投机、默契
如果选择邀请要好的朋友，就算不做什么安排
相信也可以很开心
综上所述，我觉得策划必然重要，可是不要太过周密。留一点空间让友情的力量去发展，可能会看到一些意想不到的事。:D
还有，今年要再次举行班聚是没有时间了啦。。。
可是如果可以从今年的教训中学习一些东西
明年把班聚办好，大家都可以享受。
朋友，别把这事放在心上。
勇敢去做，期待更好的明年。
The most important thing in gatherings to me, is about the ppl who attend. It doesnt matter if you guys dun hv a fixed plan actually. There are quite a few things tat u can do in Sunway, but wat matters, is tat u can talk , maybe sit down n chat at starbucks or baskin n robbins or something.
I do not think tat it was entirely ur fault during the gathering. The ppl didnt suit u, n u felt awkward with the girls. It happened to me last year as well. It was supposed to be a class gathering, but yet we split up into 3 or 4 groups, each with our own set of activities after ice-skating. Everyone went with who they felt comfortable with.
Having class gatherings at malls is inadvisable to me, but if it were to b held at someone's hse, jus make sure tat its well planned.
4 or 5 ppl outings would be my choice, jus maintain a few friends, tats enough from primary sku. Some say tat life-long friends are made in secondary sku, n yes, i would normally agree with tat. U dun need to please everyone, but jus those who will bring joy and happiness to u.
Oh n btw, jus try, no matter how hard it may be, to b as active n sociable as possible during these kind of situations.
Being good isnt good enough, being flexible and adaptable to changes is.
With this, I shall end dis long comment, with which the post is about an issue close to my heart as well. (:
Gee~ Totally agree with Shien Yang~
其实班聚~ 我所谓的策划，就是在什么时候，地方，做些什么事情，这样比较有秩序，大家也都有目标，而不是如你的班聚般无头苍蝇一样，随便的到购物中心去做未经策划的东西~
我最近与朋友的联络管道也只有 Friendster & Facebook，但主办朋友还是用寄信的方法来通知我们~
的确，拍照是拿来留念的，既然是个不美好的回忆，留来也没用~
哈哈~其实你是个很健谈的人，也很好动，很享受与大家在一起的每一分钟，是个重感情，喜欢团结的朋友~ 既然你不喜欢与那些男生交谈，就远离他们呀~ 就比如班上的某些同学的话题多数都与我们格格不入，当作泛泛之交就行了~
虽然现在说这些话可能没有用，但这只是做朋友的关心与鼓励~
加油吧！相信明年一定会更好!
To ALL - Thanks EVERYONE!! For all your advice and thoughts and help. Those were really er... long and helpful. Thx 4 being a good friend. :) I appreciate those words of u guys very much indeed...
ShienYang - hmmm...shouldn't you be passing up this comment as a 作文？hahaha... lengthy and quote cikgu tan, isinya padat... oh...and there's 综上所述 too, to include chiucc! lol...
true.. i am a bit of a perfectionist, not everything I want, everything I can get. yes, I know, I try to please everyone too much...haha... ultimately, it was the PLANNING that sucked...
Wouldn't the gathering be so much better under the hands of a perfectionist/someone who at least tries to please everyone so as to accomodate everyone and make everyone have fun and feel comfortable during the gathering? Oops, I strongly hinted that that guy is me... sorry + lol... =.=
ChernYuen - Firstly, thank you so much!! this whole chinese mumbo-jumbo thing's messing me up. You see, I prefer reading larger text sizes. These Chinese words are so small...i needed a breath of fresh air, in the form of English. Though the English texts really isn't bigger, it certainly did cast that illusion, somehow... Now you why I enlarged the Chinese text in the post, if not if would look as small as this (the words in the comment box)...
You know, I would not like the idea of splitting up into groups to walk with whoever you are comfortable with... I mean, doesn't that defeat the entire purpose of having a gathering?
Furthermore, the number of people who attended my gathering are already small enough... breaking up into groups would be totally lame, not to mention the fact that I wouldn't belong to any of those groups... boys: not close friends... girls: close but you know, they'd look at girl stuff and talk girl stuff :)
And I agree with you and ShienYang, gatherings at malls? No... Too many distractions... Home gatherings need more planning, in fact. Maybe that's why the organiser (who didn't come) singled out that option...
ZhiHao - haha... somehow, I have to agree with you, the most traditional method is the best method... Sending letters...
"哈哈~其实你是个很健谈的人，也很好动，很享受与大家在一起的每一分钟，是个重感情，喜欢团结的朋友~"
Oh...thanks for the compliments.. i never blushed so much since a long time ago... thanks for supporting me everyone, once again...
Final Note - MERRY CHRISTMAS to all, even if you don't celebrate it. Here's a song to celebrate: "Christmas Don't Be Late" by Alvin and The Chipmunks. Somehow this song is stucked in my head since I watched the movie. I mean, their voices are cute :)
Xue Zheng,
From your diction in the entry you posted, I certainly feel the unsuccessfulness and the unfriendlyness of your peers from your former school.
I understood the barriers between you and your friends (that you are studying in Singapore and they are studying in Malaysia), and my case is different from yours.
For me, there is only one class reunion for the past two years since I left primary school. This class reunion was rather unsuccessful less than 10 out of 40turned out. And when we met, most of them talked about games I werent interested in (e.g. Dota, Maplestory - I dun't even know how to play them)
The organiser didn't had really good plans. The organiser told us to go bowling for the reunion. However, I didn't know how to play bowling and it was my first time bowling...
I thought it wasn't successful in the beginning, but after the bowling match, I clearly scored a lot of points and everything cheered me up.
Similarly, you can join in the snooker game. Even if it is your first time experience, who knows you may score and get balls into the holes.
I am sure they will allow you n the girls into the game right, if you requested?
I think I shall put a full stop here. Because there are thousand and one more comments I can inject into this entry.
To conclude, I would just like to say that even though the class reunion is unsuccessful, I am sure there are some other things during the reunion which appears to be a little more vibrant than the others. Try penning down more of those happy moments than the sadder ones.
P.S.
I have a lot of my primary school friends' contacts on MSN, however, I do not usually get in touch with them. And I found out that this is rather normal. Because there is not only 1 person who do not communicate with their primary school friends after they seperated, there are more than 1 million people who commit the same "mistake"!
Post a Comment