It’s time for an update perhaps. This post will be dedicated to whomever who feels the same way as me. It shall be one, should I say emotionally fuelled post. A little disappointment, a little beaten, a little reflection, a little of this and a little of that… A post written about a topic that I can no longer express enthusiastically and happily about, but in a disheartened tone.
War was literally erupted in the Humanities Programme: there are the Allies, there are the Opponents, there are bombs, any single thing that you can ever imagine of. What on the world went wrong? Teachers all quarrelling, even involving the very “top”, with roots traceable to none other than some of the HP students. Today, I logged into the Summary Message Board to see a message posted by Yong Xiang. It went like this:
Hello all Sec 3 HP students,
Please attend the HP meeting tomrrow. This meeting is a pure initiative by me to resolve the situation in the Humanities Programme. As such, I have already invited Ms Yeo HJ to be present in the discussion tomorrow.
Venue: Moot Parliament Hall
Time : 4.00pm - 5.30pm(immediately after English common test)
This meeting is compulsory and it is for the betterment for the programme. In tomorrow's meeting, you are encouraged to speak up and participate actively in the discussion. Please come to the meeting well prepared. HP teachers will not be present.
P.S. You may be excused from other commitments to attend this urgent yet important meeting. I will inform all classes whether or not you can be excused tomorrow morning.
Thank you in advance for attending the meeting.
Yong Xiang
Such terms. Such euphemisms. Such deceptions. Phrases like the “the situation in the Humanities Programme”, “for the betterment of the programme”, they trigger thoughts in me. This attempt, this (almost certainly) near-futile attempt to negotiate peace (I term it this way) is too little, too late.
I remembered this young boy on that day in Term 4 last year. He was opting for a special programme. Without much serious consideration, he chose the Humanities Programme, filled with optimistic hopes and ideas of what the future lies for him. The Humanities were never he forte, he was more into the Languages and Arts: he speaks and writes in his languages well, he plays the piano avidly, he sings the melodies that fascinate him, he draws what inspires him, he re-enact scenes that intrigued him… It all started out with a best-fit concept, he reasoned that Literature, which he kinda likes, is Humanities related, he thought it was the natural choice, amidst the Sciences and Maths he was never really attached to in a sentimental or personal level, the Entrepreneurs where he felt that he did not belong, and the Bicultural Studies which he had never dreamed of joining. Yet, he had never ever thought that his decisions would disappoint him. He had NEVER, ever thought that he would half-regret his choice. Worst, he had NEVER thought that the reason for half-regretting was NOT because of the apparent lack of initial interest for the Humanities. In the back of that 14-year-old’s mind, the only reason for a potential regret scene was the clash between fulfilling his passion for Language and Arts and a possible realisation that Humanities was not THE thing to fulfil it. Yet, it was not the case. In fact, he had never regretted that part, and along with a new-found and still growing passion for the Humanities, he sought to excel in his studies. To cut a long story short, he had regretted because of factors concerning the seriously non-humanistic tendencies of certain people in the Programme, (“you” shall be used to address these people for the rest of this post), rendering him helpless and defeated.
The “situation” in the HP, one that you made them out to be, one that you had thoughtlessly created, one that you carelessly perceived, one that you thought represented the general opinions of the rest, one that didn’t exist if it were not for your tactless and inconsiderate antics. How could a tree branch and flower if its roots did not provide it with the required nutrients? How would a human survive without his/her brain giving signals to the body to eat, sleep, drink? And how exactly, can this “problem”, this “situation” be created without you, with all your childish, baseless discontentment and ideas of so-called “truths”?
There is nothing wrong with our teachers, we all have been taught by the same teachers, and even I have not been taught by Ms Cheong, I am confident that all are reasonable people. Every teacher has their teaching styles, as students, we should respect them and adapt to each and every of their unique styles. What I do not understand is why you do not give Ms Teo an entitlement to her own teaching style. She believes in the theory of “Traditional Chinese Medicine” (thus her initials) – bitter but effective. And I think it is true. Ms Teo once told my class, “You know it’s very interesting to teach my H2 kids, because you guys are so used to my ‘insults’ that it just bounces off your skins”. You may say I am writing from the perspective of a loser, well it’s quite obvious that H2 is this so-called more inferior class, I do not deny this fact, but what I believe is that there’s no issue in this “issue” really.
Just on Monday (and today as a result of Mrs Chan’s randomness), I did a Racial Harmony Skit for the school. It tells the story of a quarrel between the three races over the usage of a field to play their respective sports and how someone resolved it. I feel that the lines I said as the mediator of the quarrelling parties are only highly applicable to the so-called “situation” of HP (which I firmly believe does not exist). My lines went like this, “when you share this field, you realise that the world is more peaceful, the air is fresher, the grass is greener, the water is ‘newer’, and naturally, the field becomes ‘bigger’”. How true indeed. If only you could compromise, you could tolerate, you could not see things only for yourselves, you could think in the perspective of our teachers, HP will naturally be better, right? But I don’t see that happening any time in the near future, and that is the sad truth we all have to accept.
我的世界里，明争暗斗处处皆是。我站在在连连战火之中，只能悲叹着人的自私、人的无知、人的幼稚！为什么人类就不能互相忍让、互相容忍呢？为什么人类一定要自私自利地以自己为中心点呢？我不明白，也暂时不想去知道。人生的邪恶太多了，区区十五岁的我看不下！人们整天都想知道，战争为什么会开始，但其实扪心自问，答案看似远在天边，其实它近在眼前，只是看我们是不是肯接受而已。今年开始，我发觉到自己改变了好多，变得文静，对身边的人再也不是以前开朗豪爽的小子。我想，人生的邪恶也渐渐一个一个像我现身了，逃也逃不了。也许，这就是成长吧…… 如今，人文特选班，甚至CSE 的种种瑕疵，我总算看清了…… 问题从来就不是在我们的系统上，是源自不满足、人性原有的邪恶！
To all my “friends” in the Humanities Programme, I am sure that you know that I am not referring to you in this post, and if you feel insulted, I do not know what to say but “guilty conscience”, but as I would not like to present myself as this imbecile who has no respect for others, I shall choose to apologise, no matter how deserving you are for this apology, no matter how right you are and how wrong I am, no matter how wrong you are and how right I am. And remember: everyone is entitled their own opinion; I do not see why I cannot have it. I sure hope that I did myself justice with this post. Goodbye.