Unwritten

Diggin' the Dancing Queen

2009-10-20T14:41:00.012+08:00

These are the days that we were looking forward to since the start of Term 4. It's post exam and I am so thankful that I do not have to sit for the "O"s. But exams have since ended for close to a week and I am starting hearing complaints of severe boredom :)

Well, while the exams were still ongoing, I have made a promise to myself to not waste the time after exams just like that -- imagine staring into a computer screen for a whole day, gosh, that's rather sad right? So I started thinking of activities I can do after exams. There were the joke ones, like signing up for a bonsai trimming course, or a ballroom dancing course in the local community centre. Thing is, we do not have the money. So, one week into the exams, I have suggested to my fellow Malaysian friends to put on a show for Aphelion Day. And hell, that was one good choice I made. More on that later...

Of course, Plan "Utilise Time" also includes a cap of either 3 TV episodes or 1 movie a day (although so far it's only the former because I don't really watch/download movies), which has worked so far, blogging more, which is what I am doing, and going out more often to eat or walk, though that requires time, money and energy.

And of course, the top priority on my list, continue to pursue my passion in music. Four days into post exam and I have already produced 5 musical numbers, 3 choreographies, wrote a new song and edited an old one. (The first two with the help of my friends of course) Not bad huh? Personally, I am quite pleased with the new song I have written, it is less cliched and cringe-worthy (The last one never fails to make me cringe each time I re-read it -- the reason I editted it, though it doesn't really get any better due to the subject topic itself) And apparently "Sixteen" as a title of a post is a popular one for spam, each time I log onto Blogger I have to reject 5-10 Japanese spam comments asking me to purchase Viagra or stuff like that. Hoping for more inspiration in the near future!

Okay, now for the Aphelion Day performance. I wouldn't say I've always wanted to do this, because just a few weeks back I have said that Aphelion Day will be a failure (oops!) Yes, it is true that I have predicted the event to be performance-lacking (and that is on top of the cheesy mess of the usual performances). But recent circumstances have made me look back upon my years in high school and ask me myself: What have I achieved musically? I remember the time in Sec 1 when I have considered joining the band or the string orchestra. I was so filled with enthusiasm, I guess it died down a little with time.

Being quiet in class didn't help as well, because I did not get to voice my frustration over the fact that everyone immediately assumed a class performance to be a "class dance". To me, what an ideal performance must embody are these three aspects: music, song and dance. In show business, they perceive people possessing the talent in these singing, dancing and acting as a "Triple Threat". That's what I want to do! Well, I am proud that my class did do something along the lines of what I just mentioned instead of the usual "dancing to R&B" or "mass singing 朋友" that we always see, but I had limited if not zero involvment in that, and little personal attachment.

So here am I trying to rekindle this spirit again. I gathered a group of Malaysian scholars, and we started thinking of songs in its entirety: the effect that it could possibly generate among the crowd, the meaning of the lyrics, the difficulty of producing it, the feasibility of choreographing it... I listen to songs all the time, wondering the lengths people go about producing their music, putting together various instruments to enhance the quality of the song, arranging various scores, coming out with these SATB (Soprano-Alto-Tenor-Bass) vocals, distributing the voices and intruments and balancing them. These are the very aspects of music producing that I have always wanted to try, especially after I started to write songs. This was all a new experience to me, and I'll say that I am adapting rather well to it :)

In the end, we decided to do a mash-up medley of ABBA's "Dancing Queen" (good song to start out with because A. it's very attention grabbing; B. pretty much everyone knows this song), The Tokens' "The Lion Sleeps Tonight" (for the comical effect), Jason Mraz's "I'm Yours" (to an easily identifiable contemporary radio song that most people should be able to relate to), Journey's "Don't Stop Believing" (for it is a very upbeat and motivational song, that should be able to retain attention), and finally 小虎队's “红蜻蜓” (as it sums up our four years in Hwa Chong really well without delving into the usually cheesiness of Vitamin C or 朋友). Each song was carefully chosen, crafted and ordered in such that a way the audience won't lose their attention (or so I hope).

Rehearsals were supposed to start on Friday, though sadly many went for their usual badminton session. Don't blame them because I know that they have their passions and I have mine, it's okay to prioritise I guess? Though it did get a little frustrating when I found out that all of them won't be showing up for the whole of the weekends because they were heading home. So the remaining members went on without them, and we progressed really quick, in fact much quicker than I have expected, so much so that I have ditched plans to teach everyone to harmonise (because it is so tiring for me to do that each day when a new member comes back), and decided to make them all dancers.

Don't get me wrong, my background singers which include Zi Kang, Zi Qian, Eng Keat, Zhao Hong and Shi-Jie sounded so great, that I was so touched during the instant that I successfully taught them harmony. I never thought that I would ever start a musical group like that, and that moment felt like I have really achieved something finally. It is just that the process of teaching backing and harmony of "The Lion Sleeps Tonight", "I'm Yours", "Dancing Queen" and “红蜻蜓” will be too tiring if I were to repeat such lessons all over again to a new group of people. I'm glad Zi Qian told me that we should not be progressing too quickly without the rest, which made me realise that I needed to tighten up and not let the absence of the other members affect the performance, which then led to the decision to make them dancers. Hoping that this time it will really work!

Which brings me to this part. The choreography. None of us actually have a dancing background or have ever done anything remotely resembling a dance (and no, I do not consider the infamous "Hwa Chong dance" a dance. That led Zi Kang, Zi Qian, Eng Keat and I to choreograph dance steps for "Don't Stop Beliving" and “红蜻蜓”. That was relatively okay as the songs do not require much movement at all. The real problem was "Dancing Queen", it's a dance song, obviously, and we did not know how to begin in the first place. So we tried to be as minimalistic as possible and took the “抛砖引玉” approach. I started it off by suggesting the "John Travolta hands" move for the start of the song, as well as a simple "pointing-at-each other" movement for that part where "You can dance, you can jive" is sung, all of which were accepted. Then we got stuck for a moment. Soon, Zi Kang got the idea to look at the choreography for "Dancing Queen" in "Mamma Mia! The Movie", where we got the dance moves for the next few sentences. The rest pretty much just fell into place after that.

Fearing that we would forget the dance moves by the time we want to teach dance moves, we got Chern Yuen to video us dancing the video, of course that did not come after many MANY times of practising (like seriously, we were bathing in sweat). Got a few laughs out of it :) By the time we ended it was 12+ am, we were horribly hot, dripping all over with sweat. Boy, that was actually some good exercise going on there, to which I say: take that, a certain gym-hitting family in HCIBS! :D

I want you guys to understand, this performance means so much to me, it is not just a cheesy, cheap, school performance that anyone and everyone can just easily replicate and perform on stage, it is not mass-singing or mass-dancing, I can do all that if I tried, and trust me, it does not take as much effort as to meticulously plan each detail from choosing the songs, to arranging the music, to coordinating the vocals, to distributing the roles, to choreographing the steps... And the list goes on. I want this to be something epic, something no one can just take from us and re-perform without going through the various processes. I want us to all enjoy this and remember this as what we have together as a group of Malaysian scholars.

To end off, let me quote ABBA. So, can I dance? Can I jive? I very much still doubt my ability. But I can certainly tell you, I am having the time of my life!

Who Would've Known

2009-10-18T01:13:00.011+08:00

As I am typing this it is 1:13 am, feeling rather lonely for several reasons. Maybe it is the tranquility of the night. Yes, so the exams are finally over, and happy as the superficial part of me is, I am feeling rather empty. It is just that recently, I have been thinking about the friendships I've made and lost in these four years.

So here's a song I wrote on the spot. It sounds nicer with the music in my head. It's semi-autobiographical, some details were made up but mostly they are a true reflections of my real feelings drawn from real experiences with people.

It's a song mourning the loss of friendship, like how people you once were so good friends with become near strangers when we meet them say, 10 years later, or find out what they are really like. It's called "Who Would've Known".

VERSE 1:

Said we'd look back on this and laugh

at our foolish ways and those horrid lies;

The way we teased that guy down there

about his big fat nose and his narrow eyes.

Said we'd go to that place and spend the day

and leave only when the clock reads six o' five;

The way we enjoyed each others' presence

and were together each moment alive.

But all it took,

was just a closer look,

Then the truth comes to light;

And seeing us now,

being so distant somehow,

Just makes me want to sigh.

CHORUS:

Who would've known that people can change

and become someone you don't recognise,

Who would've known that the man you call "friend"

becomes someone you despise,

Maybe it's just me,

Maybe time made me see,

How different we are through the veil of similarities;

Now who would've known that we once had our trust,

Now who would've known that we once had a past,

Now who would've known that we'd lose the friendship we owned,

Who would've known...

VERSE 2:

Said we'd spend the free days recreating

those crazy social experiments we used to try;

Seeing our Subject fall for our trap

used to make us laugh till our tears dry.

Said we'd get that pretty girl to join us

so we can look her in those beautiful eyes;

So lovely so wonderful was that charm of hers that

made her topic of our countless sleepless nights.

But all it took,

was just that closer look,

Then the truth comes to light;

And seeing us now,

being so distant somehow,

Was our friendship all a lie?.

CHORUS:

Who would've known that people can change

and become someone you don't recognise,

Who would've known that the man you call "friend"

becomes someone you despise,

Maybe it's just me,

Maybe time made me see,

How different we are through the veil of similarities;

Now who would've known that we once had our trust,

Now who would've known that we once had a past,

Now who would've known that we'd lose the friendship we owned,

Who would've known...

INTERLUDE:

(does not have any lyrics, the melody fully in my mind only, has these epic string instruments together with a piano)

CHORUS:

Who would've known that people can change

and become someone you don't recognise,

Who would've known that the man you call "friend"

becomes someone you despise,

Maybe it's just me,

Maybe time made me see,

How different we are through the veil of similarities;

Now who would've known that we once had our trust,

Now who would've known that we once had a past,

Now who would've known that we'd lose the friendship we owned,

Who would've known...

- END OF SONG -

Most of you guys probably won't take this seriously, or probably you got bored reading my amateurish lyrics, but I want to let you know that the lyrics mean a lot to me because writing lyrics is a way I channel my emotions and feelings inside.

I wrote this song because I was feeling a little sad, overwhelemed by the rapidly changing experiences from people I call my friends, espcially in recent weeks. Come on, who are we kidding? How often do we even talk now? Who would've known, right? I certainly did not...

华岗剧坊

2009-08-18T14:07:00.006+08:00

I just read Shien Yang's blog post regarding his feelings after stepping down from CCA. I was very affected by that post, and there is this mixture of emotions churning inside that I felt that I was compelled to say something. Thing is, when I proceeded to leave a comment, I found myself at a lost for words... Yes, it is true that I have not written a post on Huagang. There were always mentions here and there, but somehow there wasn't one exclusively dedicated to my CCA. It wasn't something intentional, but it was just something that never came. How many times have I harboured the thought of writing on say, 华岗艺韵 or 陈嘉庚, but there was never enough time. (Or is that an excuse I tell myself?) With the exception of one blog post "Ong Teng Cheong" which I don't really consider a true post on Huagang firstly cos it was really short and secondly because I wrote it in Sec 2 (a lot of biasness).

I have always hid my feelings from my CCA away from most people, including the ones closest to me. It was always this hovering thing that I just don't talk to people about. But now that we have all stepped down, maybe it is time for me to explore these feelings myself. Frankly, Huagang is had always been a love-hate relationship for me. But I have spent so much time together with Shien Yang that people almost immediately assumed that huagang = total love to me. My passion for Huagang can never match that of Shien Yang or Zhi Hao, and the times that I have been so angry or frustrated with Huagang can actually match the good times. I remember saying in my blog post/comment in Sec 2 after "Ong Teng Cheong" performance that we feel happy, like all the hard work was worth it, like every paid off, only as a temporal feeling of high, once these feelings fade, it would be back to the old feelings of maybe frustration or even hate. Well, maybe it is now time for the reevaluation of this claim that I made...

During "Tan Kah Kee", seeing Shien Yang being all serious and screwing people and scolding people on stage, overexerting and overstressing himself to the point where he just speaks instructions so fast and unclear that no one can really hear. (Shien Yang: hey seriously though, I did not tell you about this part before, you were like "no, no, no" and then some weird hand motion that does not mean anything at all then push people away then mumble something more. Then I was like, huh? But then that was not the time to tell you anyway) There were times that I just wish he would cool, you know, "欲速则不达", but it was very hard to. Well, the fact that I procrastinate, probably explaining why I choose to take my own sweet time in my work, and that Shien Yang is what 周老师 called a "急性子的人", I guess it was more of a personality clash that I chose not to tell him. There were many times that I had struggled with myself. There was also that one part of me that says, let me be the one who tells him this because I am his friend. But now I am finally telling you this, at the very least.

Okay, now I'm going off topic. My point is, I don't find myself doing such a thing, not in the name of theatre discipline or my responsibility as a stage manager. Thing is, it is that something that is holding me back. I know myself well enough that I cannot be a good leader. If good leadership means having to be strict/fierce, or having the courage to stand up against my friends, (which it is in the context of Hwa Chong anyway), I cannot do it. I just lack this quality in me, my heart is too soft: I forgive and forget easily, and I cannot bear hurting other people because I know how it feels to be hurt. Remember the class chairman of 2B/07? I don't go around crowd controlling or class disciplining because I know I cannot, instead the things that I do is to inform Mdm Chiu of the situation in class, so that she could handle it (or at least she tried). I may have the vision and ideals on how to do something, but I just cannot assume the role of a leader because I keep them inside. Unless, of course, the rest of the people in that group are really more passive than I am. Having the potential and manifesting it right is a different issue after all. I need the Shien Yang's in my life, someone who can do these things. At times it can really make life suck, because people like this tend to force you to accept their view and refuse to admit they are wrong; but times it make life a whole lot easier, especially when you have a personality like me, because all you need to do is to ask for help. Shien Yang and I are same but not too same, different but not too different, that's the reason we can be friends, but at the very least, this is one thing different between us that I know that we can learn from each other.

I do more of the silent working, what I contribute people may not see. Yes, I may not stay back late in the night to make props. But what I must do (i.e. what is in my field of responsibility), I will get it prepared. As much as Shien Yang and Zhi Hao like to point out that I have never once stayed back to make the props, I did stay back to write my script with Han Yang outside LT3, I did sacrifice a week and a half of holiday when I could have gone back to my home which is gasp, not easily accessible by a 45-cent trip on 170. What I am trying to say is, I do my part in Huagang, or at least I try my best. I like to do my part, I may complain but eventually come to appreciate it. Whoever said that devotion and enthusiasm was measured by whatever you do that is not in your responsibility? Don't judge me by what I did not do, don't label me with the things that I am not. I like to believe that I take Huagang with a pinch of reality, I know that what is more important are my studies, and this may make the things I do for Huagang not my priority. Reality is what is holding me back. Yes, I may be idealistic but I know the reality well, I know that pursuing music or drama is not realistic for my future, but it does not stop me from wishing or dreaming at the same time, right?

The good things about Huagang was always production related. It was the nights of writing script in pitch darkness (only light source from my laptop), it was directing my own show, being given my own creative license... Contrary to what some may believe, I AM actually very fascinated with the inner workings of drama and theatre, especially that of musical theatre (you know the reason, because it integrates music AND drama). It is very contradictory that what you may hate for a moment can become a good memory at the end of the day. Luck has been on my side as far as Huagang is concerned. I have been given so many chances in Huagang to experience the various sides of drama, such as acting, writing scripts, directing, stage managing, make-up etc. I would even say that it was something purely by chance that I got the EXCO position of quartermaster.

Well, of course I'm happy, and of course I like it. But when I look at the seniors, who come back year after year after year. It is this Huagang spirit that bonds them so strongly, one that I believe I have but is not manifested strongly. I can enjoy the times we spent, look back and smile, but I don't think that I possess and will ever possess such devotion. It is integral that we differentiate between passion and devotion. Mine is passion, that I can tell you confidently. You can despise me all you want and condemn my occasional lack of involvment or lack of care, but just don't force your ideals on everyone. And of course I won't waste my time trying to force you to believe me.

Yeah, so maybe what I had said in Sec 2 was true. It is post-production high. But it does not only stop that. In fact, there are reasons that I like Huagang that even I cannot explain myself. Perhaps it is a collective feeling of love and hate that had blurred the lines so much. But whatever it is, I do know that Huagang has changed me for good. I may not be able to write only the good things about Huagang, but those things that I like about Huagang are the ones that will forever remain in me. I'll probably not go to Huang Cheng next year, but Huagang, now that's something that I will never forget in my life.

Childhood Crush

2009-06-25T22:23:00.010+08:00

I'll make this post a quick and happy one. How do I do that? With some videos that will brighten your day, of course!

But before of that, let me introduce to you my childhood crush - ELMO from Sesame Street! Once you watch these videos, its easy to see why Elmo has captivated the hearts of millions of kids in the world. I promise that the videos will put a smile on your face, unless you are some weirdo with a guailan childhood.

I'll start off with this classic, Andrea Bocelli sings Time to Say Goodnight to Elmo. Some people may know that I downloaded this video when I was in Sec 2 and watched it everyday for some time.

Let's have a little country music right now. Martina McBride goes on Sesame Street to sing That's Pretending with Elmo! Do check out her music too, she sings very meaningful songs dealing with hot issues like abuse.

I'm continuing with country music. Sugarland sings Songs. This one's a personal favourite, not only because I like Sugarland, the song was catchy and relatable. I found the song most musically relevant. The theme was universal, singing songs are for everyone...

Another personal favourite. Norah Jones singing Don't Know Why with Elmo, love her jazzy style and vocals, it's very different from contemporary pop singers. The plot is hillarious mainly because it's childish. "Y" looks cool by the way.

Ellen DeGeneres telling Elmo how their names are actually simillar, though Elmo insists that its different. Ell-en and El-mo, how ingenious...

I'll end with this one. Elmo comes out a little later and doesn't talk but I find Patti Labelle's voice amazing. Singing the ABC in gospel style. If only we were taught the alphabet this way...

Okay, so the lyrical contents of the videos are kiddy (except "Songs" by Sugarland that was rather universal), but they're educational. Elmo is so sweet... There are more Elmo vids online but I just chose a few that I liked best.

Those were the days huh? Finally, I hope that these videos have made your day a better one. Enjoy the remainder of the holidays, that is if you really call it a holiday.

It's Just Me, Math and Music

2009-06-03T00:18:00.019+08:00

I'll condense what I have been doing these few days into two words. Math. Music.

Math

What? But you don't like math! Yes, true, but it seemed that the things that I have been doing for the past few days (or lack thereof) had something to do with wonderful mathematics.

Firstly, it was APMOPS (Asia-Pacific Mathematical Olympiad for Primary Schools) on the 30th of May. I was emceeing for the prize presentation of APMOPS in Chinese, my first ever emceeing experience. And to top it all off, it was the very competition that brought me the Singapore. A lot of people do not know this, it was my lack of integrity that got me this scholarship. In the internal qualifying round in my school, I sort of changed one answer so that I can get a chance to participate in SMOPS. And that move changed my life forever - I had the minimum amount of score in the first round needed to get me into the invitation round in Singapore. And if that wasn't enough, it got me a scholarship too. If I didn't change that answer, I'd probably take the ASEAN scholarship test anyway, though I wouldn't be so sure that I'd get the scholarship. Now if you ask me if I would've done the same thing, I'd probably still do it. Does that make me a bad and selfish person? Or does it just make me human? Don't judge me for this, my point is, we are all selfish in our own ways. It's our way of surviving. How do you think the human race got to the top of the hierarchy in the first place? Nobody's perfect.

Of course, now and then I do regret doing that, but when I think of what it has brought me, I don't know what to think. It's the conscience vs selfishness talk once again. But since I have chosen selfishness at that time, I'll have to accept it. Hmm, maybe it's just that I have not reached the stage of maturity that would make me a selfless, principled person who wouldn't do anything against what's right.

Okay, now I'm deviating. Back to APMOPS. I found the emceeing experience fun enough. Thanks to 邱老师, 张老师, Mrs Cheryl Wong and Ms Tan Yew Hui for their support. Although APMOPS this year is really just a competition between the Malaysians and Singaporeans (thanks to H1N1 flu, contestants from other regions did not come to Singapore), which made the competition a lot more small scale this year, it felt nice to have gone through such an event from the perspective of an emcee. As 邱老师 told me shortly after the prize presentation ended “台上一分钟，台下十年功”. True words indeed, same thing for theatre.

1st June was not so fun though, it was three and half hours of pure mathematics. Mrs Teng had pointed out my weakness in mathematics and had scheduled for a one-to-one class. I hadn't expect 3.5 hours though. I went to school at 8am, and to my surprise, Mrs Teng told me that she'll just continue to give me stuff to do until my saturation point.

But I'll be very fair, I can't say I got nothing out of the lesson. It turned out that Mrs Teng's twenty years of teaching made her so good at whatever she does. She started by giving me some Secondary 2 questions to test the strength of my foundation. It was sort of like a diagnosis, to find out what's wrong. Very professional indeed. I was impressed. Soon after, she concluded that my methods took too long to complete those questions, and taught me some techniques. Later on, we just did past year compilations of questions. A 15 minute break in which I just walked around the school aimlessly followed. After that, I reentered the classroom, where Mrs Teng had scheduled a math test for her Beijing students, or retest for those who had failed her previous test. She gave me their paper and told me to do it as well. After the test, as with the situation after every math lesson, I cannot help but feel a bit 自卑. Everyone seems fine with maths, or at least they seem to be coping. But not me. I stayed behind, cleared my doubts on the questions on the paper, asked a few more questions on logarithm, then was finally released. It was nice to know that Mrs Teng cared so much for my mathematics standard though.

Came 2nd June, the day of SMO (Singapore Mathematical Olympiad). While I had voluntarily signed up for it, I regreted it. Not only I don't stand a chance, I wouldn't enjoy it. But here's what happened. I missed the competition. Not on purpose though. It was a simple case of oversleeping. I woke up at 2pm utterly shocked, if not just purely confused. I have never slept till this late! Not in Singapore though. I did set an alarm but either it didn't ring, or I was just too asleep to notice. Normally, I have no problem waking up, I have never been late for school, for competitions, for most things. But probably SMO just didn't register in my brain properly? Weird, maybe it's my subconscious trying to tell me something else.

Music

Due to the usual monotony associated with the holidays, I have been going to the music room to play the piano for the past few days. It was great to feel alive again after all that happened in school for the past few weeks. It was my way of escaping from reality, and I like it.

Zi Kang and Aaron had followed me the music room for all times we used it, occasionally Zi Qian and Eng Keat would come. Shi-Jie made a guest appearance for 5 minutes (to sell Zi Kang the sandwich that he had bought wrongly, the one with meat). We played all sorts of songs that came to our mind. Sang a few, experimented on a few. Had a blast. On Sunday, Zi Kang, Zi Qian and I didn't get a room as the office was closed. Instead, we played the piano outside Blue Tea. For 4 hours! Though Mickey, our second favourite guard next to Karen Monica Cheng, kept walking around us and giving us what we saw as approving nods. Weird. Pauline said that she saw Mickey playing the piano a few times when we told her of it, I'm not sure if she's trying to scam us though, cause she didn't sound serious. Conclusion: our guards are 多才多艺.

Last night was one night of realisation though. I had suggested going to the music room, so we went down to the office to book a room. This time, Zi Qian and Eng Keat followed. I had presumed that they wanted to have fun with music so I was all "the more the merrier". But it turned out that they wanted me to assist them in practising for their class performance, playing the Mission: Impossible theme song.

Although I know that I would not enjoy it, it was fine by me to help them, so I said okay. We started playing for a while. Then, I forgot who was it, someone started singing the Keat song. Then Zi Qian started playing it on the flute, so I started playing the accompaniment on piano. Suddenly, Eng Keat pushed my hands away, I knew something was wrong, but I just said "what?" and continued to play for a while, until Eng Keat made a few very hard bows on his cello, I stopped. I walked away from the piano, then Eng Keat started banging all over the piano. Now everyone knew that he was displeased, and the atmosphere was awkward. I was a little angry too, because I didn't get what was making him behave this way. I reasoned that if he was angry with the song we were playing, he could have just told us or let out his angry slowly, but it was his sudden release of anger that made me angry.

Everyone was not saying anything, but I knew what they were thinking. I had to let it out, so I said rather angrily, "I ... I have to say something. 你发什么脾气? Seriously, it's not that I want to say or anything, but if you are angry, you can tell us or something or what right? Do you need to bang the piano and do all those things that you did? I don't get angry all the time, I don't scold people a lot, but seriously, this time?" Then I stormed out the room, and what coincidence, my mum called at that time.

After speaking with my mother, Zi Kang, Aaron and I discussed about what happened. I asked if what I said was too harsh? Aaron told me it was just "very regular pissing off", Zi Kang said "not really". I was in the heat, I was thinking of leaving the card and key on the piano and to tell them to return them when they're done, then leave the room. That was when I saw Eng Keat cry. Then I hesitated. I have never seen my dear friend cry, it came to me I was the one who started it, so it was up to me to end it. It was so tempting to just leave, but I didn't. After a few moments of consideration. I went in to apologise. Zi Qian and I started to console him. I told Eng Keat, that I NEED to know what made him angry because I am his friend. It was the song that we played, and everything that was about it. I said that I was very sorry for whatever we might've done in the past, and that I will try to stop doing it as far as possible. That was when Mr Lee Khen Seng came in suddenly. He asked if we can handle, I said yes. Zi Kang later told me that Mr Lee's daughter wanted to use the piano, but then he saw Zi Kang and Aaron standing at one corner of the music room. He asked what happened, Zi Kang told him that we had an argument so they thought it'd be better for them to stay outside. Zi Kang and Aaron left soon after that.

After saying what I said to console him and to apologise, I felt that I had to tell him the bigger picture, because I was a friend. I told him the reason why people do this. I said, everyone gets this, even I get angry at times when being called names and hurled insults by the people I call my closest friends. It is the things that we keep inside because we fear hurting our friends instead. But it is based on the assumption that our friends would keep it within, or that our friends wouldn't mind, that we say such things that might hurt them on an internal level. We can promise him the world to console him but slip back into our old ways after some time. I told him, it is the whole inevitability of being friends and that THIS is the meaning of being friends. It is about the things we don't say, but we mean in our hearts. It was the things that I told Eng Keat when I poured my heart out. What we do in real life might not reflect how much we see the other as a friend, the whole string of assumptions we make, of how our friends wouldn't care about this, of how they wouldn't mind about that, shows how we take them forgranted. But once in a while, it'd be nice to tell them: You are my friend, I appreciate you, I value what we have gone through together. And you who are reading this at this very moment, get the hint please, this is what I am trying to tell you right now :)

I understand that it might be a continued suppression of these emotions that led to such an outburst. At that time, I was thinking, I don't want this friendship to end just like that, so I did what I did. I suggested going back to our rooms and to get an early rest. In the end, it was the signature "HI" of Eng Keat that broke the awkward atmosphere, a smile appeared on the edge of my lips as Zi Qian and I looked into each others' eyes knowingly. As we walked back, we talked about the event that just happened, Zi Qian suggested that all of us could try letting out our displeasure bit by bit. I agreed, but I was just happy that we could talk normally again.

A night of music turned into a night of realisation. I know, it's all just a part of growing up, but I'm glad that it happened to me now than later on in life. I mean, just look at me, co-founder of the Keat song and the term "OMEK", living my world of assumptions. I know that everyone lives with these assumptions of friends, I'll probably still live in these assumptions after this event, but one thing's for sure: I'll be more sensitive to matters regarding these assumptions. Would like to end with this analogy I thought of, inspired by friendship, by life, by the lessons learnt. Life is just like a melody, it's just better with harmony. Together, we create the most harmonious melody of life.

Yours musically,

Xue Zheng

A New Old Friend

2009-05-27T21:08:00.010+08:00

Yes, don't look around. This one's dedicated to you. Kiew Yee Lei.

I don't know what's giving me so much motivation to blog these days. I have been blogging for three consecutive days, and that's a record.

It started two days ago, on my birthday. That night, my mother called me and told me that two of my primary school mates had called to wish me happy birthday. Naturally, I was very shocked. Given the person I am now, somewhat a loner and loser, I didn't know that I still had people who'd consider me as a friend in my primary school. I'd assume that they'd all forgotten me. I guess that knowing that I am loved is a good feeling?

My mother told me, she'd told my friends that I was in Singapore, to email me, and thanked them for the well-wishes. The next day, I received Yee Lei's email. She wished me a happy birthday and told me that she had not forgotten me nor my birthday. I replied shortly after, saying that I have not forgotten her as well, and that I was very touched by her sincerity and wishes. I expressed a wish to continue our correspondance with emails from time to time.

That email made me smile. What better than knowing that an old friendship is renewed and given a new chance? Perhaps I am somewhat an overtly idealistic person, but these are the things that make me happy at the end of the day. Hope. And for reigniting that, I thank you, from the bottom of my heart.

Yee Lei, I know you read my blog, that's probably the reason I chose to blog about this.

But there's still something I need to say. Every reader of this blog should at least know this about of me, this that I am about to explain. I came across the theory of "The Bubble", as odd as this may seem, on a comedy sitcom. The theory describes an imaginary bubble, one that engulfs an influential person, or sometimes just a very good-looking person. People treat you differently knowing what you are. And sadly, Bubblettes (sorry this is one horrible terminology) miss out a lot on what's really happening on earth. I was living in this huge, impenetrable bubble during my primary school days.

The star student, the teachers' favourite, the guy with a lot of friends. It used to be this way. But all has changed. I guess being out of the bubble allows you to see things with perspective. Or maybe it is just growing up.

It is not dissimilar to "The Sanctuary" Chern Yuen mentioned to me about iSpark during his Secondary 1 time, but I think that the main difference is that people in "the bubble" don't know that they are in "the bubble" but people in "the sanctuary" choose to be there. In addition, you leave "the bubble" the day you finally realise that everything has gone so wrong, but you leave "the sanctuary" whenever you like. "The bubble" is utopia, but "the sanctuary" is asylum.

I am not the person I used to be. I have changed, and I think it is for the better. We need a fall once in a while to stay human, right? Reality has opened my idealistic eyes, that didn't stop me from being idealistic, but it did change my personality, and the way I perceive things. I acknowledge that it is no longer utopia, I live and adapt to it (or at least I am trying), but nothing can stop me from just wishing and hoping headlessly. Once, in a rather heated talk with my mother, I told her clearly that I have changed into a completely different person, but I am prouder of the person I am right now than the person I once was. Trust me though, it's better to know earlier than to be kept in the dark.

My point for you is, you may not feel that you know me any more? I have my friends who know me as I am right now, and those who know me as I was in Standard 6. But whatever it is, I am willing to give this friendship a go. Let's make a toast to friendship! Old. New. Existing.

Rain

2009-05-26T19:48:00.015+08:00

"Cos' I don't know how its gets better than this

You take my hand and drag me headfirst, fearless

And I don't know why but with you I dance

In a storm in my best dress, fearless"

-- Fearless, Taylor Swift

Ignore the "best dress" part, but that was totally what I felt with my friends today. Fearless is the word people.

We were having lunch at Al-Ameen when it started to rain heavily. There was no sheltered route to the bus stop. So, like little kids, we braved the rain and made our way to the bus stop. A move that made us soaking wet. We didn't care. Boy, that sure brought back many memories of childhood.

I've always thought that there is something very special about rain. There is melancholy AND romance in the atmosphere, don't ask me why. It gives hope. It gives life. It is release. It is different. But why?

Is it because we know that the sun is going to shine again? Or is it because of how every single thing on earth reacts to it? The little boy sharing an umbrella with his mother. The couple holding close to each other under the awning, away from the rain. The plants accepting with intense pleasure the violent splashes of the raindrops on their leaves. Even the way each raindrop bounces off the pavement, the ripple of the puddle fascinates. You don't really notice these during a rain, heck, even I don't notice these. But why do these come to mind when I think of the beauty of rain?

It's cold during a rain. It's wet during a rain. That's probably why we hide away from the rain. But why hide? We don't we instinctively embrace nature's showers, feel each droplet running down your neck, seeping into your semi-transparent white tee (ahem)? That's why I quoted Taylor Swift's song. Yeah for one, I like her as a singer, but secondly - it's something plain Fearless. Now that a quality most of us lack. Who walks into the rain like an idiot when every runs out? I'm glad that we went through what we went through today, because everyone led everyone to be fearless. And we had fun out of it.

I have a secret urge every time it rains - to run out, sing and dance and shout and scream in the rain. Children's have no qualms doing it. Why should we? Why should we follow the social norms? But why do I not do it? Seriously, we humans are such contradictions to ourselves and I can't say I understand why. We are so marginalised, that it just shows. But at the very least, I did something that I've always wanted to, and temporarily broke free from society's boundaries.

Rain is always portrayed as the adversities, whereas the sun always comes out and release the rays of hope. Why do people say that we can make it through the rain, and not the sun? Why do people say the sun will shine again and not the rain will fall again? I don't know. But what I do know is, I like rain, and I like sunshine. I like their correlation, their interaction, and I like their independence.

Let the stormy clouds chase

Everyone from the place

Come on with the rain

I've a smile on my face

I walk down the lane

With a happy refrain

Just singin',

Singin' in the rain

--Singin in the Rain, Gene Kelly

A happy refrain indeed.

The Day of Sixteen

2009-05-25T01:29:00.011+08:00

It's my birthday today, and I'm feeling things. While I am not big on celebrating my birthday with cake and presents, I wanted to capture the feeling of being sixteen forever. What did I do? I wrote a song. It was my first time ever writing a song, and after experiencing it, I'd say: definitely not my last.

I always thought that I could be a composer if I wanted but maybe not a lyricist because I am not good at wordplay. But it wouldn't be as authentic if I hired a lyricist, wouldn't it? Some things are better done myself. So I wrote down these lyrics, at first without a melody in mind, though I do have something in mind right now. I wanted to combine the mental state of a typically confused teenager along with what means to be sixteen, hence passing on the message that I want to share with the lyrics - Be proud to feel what you feel, confused and lost, because sixteen is a time of exploration, don't let anyone affect how you feel. It may be cliched and for that I apologise, after all it's my first attempt.

I don't need birthday gifts, I just hope that you can take your time to read through this. Please do not take this as a poem though, as the lyrics were written without structure and poetic considerations in mind.

Verse 1:

Why do I just want to hide

Away from the lies, above the skies?

Why do the lies, they never die?

Why should I even try?

We doubt and we wonder

We question and we ponder

Yet it is such an irony

That what we feel comes naturally

Chorus:

Cos' it's the time of possibilities

The time of no clear boundaries

The time of friends and rivalries

Just trying to be free

The time of endless fantasies

The time of selfish tendencies

The time of self discoveries

Just trying to be me

And you know just what I mean

Of the situation that we're in

Cos' you've been where I have been

At sixteen

Verse 2:

Is she the one? Am I her guy?

Or should I run and say goodbye?

Why did I miss that one last kiss?

What if life is just one big dumb quiz?

We think and we wonder

We question and we ponder

Yet it is such an irony

That what we feel comes naturally

Chorus:

Cos' it's the time of possibilities

The time of no clear boundaries

The time of friends and rivalries

Just trying to be free

The time of endless fantasies

The time of selfish tendencies

The time of self discoveries

Just trying to be me

And you know just what I mean

Of the situation that we're in

Cos' you've been where I have been

At sixteen

Bridge:

Just give us a chance

And we'll find wondrous lands

Then we'll make it well known

That we've found our own

We'll stand up to the world

And tell those who aren't sure

That at sixteen

There can be nothing in between

Our dreams

Chorus:

Cos' it's the time of possibilities

The time of no clear boundaries

The time of friends and rivalries

Just trying to be free

The time of endless fantasies

The time of selfish tendencies

The time of self discoveries

Just trying to be me

And you know just what I mean

Of the situation that we're in

Cos' you've been where I have been

At sixteen

Closing Verse:

Why do I feel the way I do?

Tell me, what's the deal? Am I a fool?

No you're not, from what I've seen,

You're just being sixteen...

Que Sera, Sera

2009-03-09T21:16:00.008+08:00

Trying out coloured fonts on my blog (like Ms Cheong) :D

*********************************

It's the sabbatical week once again. Time to let loose and have some fun!!

This term, I joined this sabbatical called Introduction to Digital Integrated Ciruit Technology, a course hosted by Ngee Ann polytechnic. The content stuff is rather boring, I'd say. But that's definitely not why I joined the sabbatical. It's not for ACE too, if that's what you're thinking.

Rather, it came across a generally agreed upon consensus in a small group of Malaysians to join this sabbatical together. Well, there're actually three ways to enjoy the sabbatical week to its maximum. One way is to join a sabbatical that you have a true interest and passion in, somewhat like Chern Yuen and Zi Kang's decision(s) to join fencing. Another way is to get a group of people you click with, and join a sabbatical together, not considering the fun factor. I mean, you can still go there, kick ass and have a great time together right? Third is to incorporate the previous two ways, but I find it hard to gather a group of people who shares the exact same interests and passion, so that's kinda out for me.

Anyway, this sabbatical is about microchips and sillicon plates and stuff. One way to explain this was actually using jelly/agar so that 's what we made today. A practical of agar-making. Rather fun actually but we dared not eat the own agar we made because apparently Shien Yang spammed too much colouring, and Bihou who bravely tasted a portion declared that it made the agar taste like cough mixture. Ughh.

Also, we went to the "cleanroom" that they process and research on all this stuff. We had to wrap ourselves with gloves, goggles, 口罩, cover the entire head, shoe protection, a dress thingy that went from neck to toe, and go through an air shower. Strict huh? But it was an interesting process. Laughed so hard when we saw each other in weird attires. Totally looked like fugitives or something. Shien Yang looked like some Egyptian (no other meaning[s] intended) merchant, the kind who is rich enough to feed himself with lots of ahem, food. So there was some birding and mocking and joking, and overall it was a fun day. Looking forward for tomorrow...

*********************************

Was randomly surfing Youtube just now for some Andrew Lloyd Webber songs, but instead I encountered a totally unrelated, but familiar song. I heard this from my mum herself, she sang this to me a long time ago. (Sigh, how I'd like her to sing this to me again, those were the days.) This is a song I bet many may find familiar, from your very own childhood I guess?

Que Sera, Sera (Whatever Will Be, Will Be) by Doris Day

I find the song very age appropriate for me, for us (lyrically). Why does the society make us think so much about our future? Especially for our age. Whatever will be, will be, the future's not ours to see. I was actually rather confused a few weeks back after receiving some lousy results, and I seriously questioned what I wanted to be when I grow up (read previous post, the whole passion versus reality thing), but after listening to this song, I felt slightly better. So those out there who are still uncertain about their future, this song's for you. I thought that the melody was simply yet brilliant, and the lyrics very meaningful and close to heart, not to mention the childhood memories that revisited. Enjoy!

When I was just a little girl
I asked my mother, what will I be
Will I be pretty, will I be rich
Here's what she said to me.

Que Sera, Sera,
Whatever will be, will be
The future's not ours, to see
Que Sera, Sera
What will be, will be.

When I grew up, and fell in love
I asked my sweetheart what lies ahead
Will we have rainbows, day after day
Here's what my sweetheart said.

Que Sera, Sera,
Whatever will be, will be
The future's not ours, to see
Que Sera, Sera
What will be, will be.

Now I have children of my own
They ask their mother, what will I be
Will I be handsome, will I be rich
I tell them tenderly.

Que Sera, Sera,
Whatever will be, will be
The future's not ours, to see
Que Sera, Sera
What will be, will be.

Of Remedial and Music

2009-02-23T13:41:00.006+08:00

Since I have a free period to spare, I shall update my blog.

Basically the term has not been good for me. Yes, there were nice moments, but basically the academic component of my school life had turned around drastically.

I was back from Beijing one week after schooling, and barely after another one/two weeks of schooling, I went on THIMUN in the Netherlands, seems like distractions had taken its toll(s) on me. AND, it seems that remedial is awaiting me in Term 2... I failed my Biology with an E8 and I am not proud of it. I have a double B4 in Mathematics, and the rest aren't glorious score too. To sum up, not an A1 so far. When I walked into the library, I met with Ms Cheong, who told me that my geography scores were bad, and that I was "dead". And looking at the remaining subjects that have not been returned (Chemistry, Biology, History, Geography, Literature), it seems that an ominous fate awaits me.

What I have realised for last year, is that I have been relying a lot on my languages to pull up my MSGs. Although I don't score A1s for my sciences and humanities, I often rely on the 3 languages and occasionally Literature to help out with the scores. Also, last year I was in a lower band Maths class so there are two more A1s there.

But these are just excuses I have been giving myself, it is not just the language thing. Thing is, I compared to 2008 and realised that this year, I do not really listen in class, I do not submit work on time, I procrastinate, I youtube, I use my laptop. These are the real reasons why I failed this term.

From the mugging kid I was in Secondary 1, I had lowered my guard so much, for enjoyment, for relaxation, for more happiness. Just look where I've come to, look where it has brought me to. Am I more miserable than before? I don't think so. But I am not exactly happier than before either. I am not super smart so I don't have to study for an A1. I do not have a mind for maths and science (and probably geography [that I constantly flunk] which is also a branch of science). I have some foundation in languages which are probably my better subjects. But my true interest lies nowhere near.

I want to live in a world of music. A world where the academics just fade behind us. But it seems impossible. Talk about the Singapore Plan/Singapore Dream. The somewhat similar cultures in Singapore and Malaysia had taught us better. Don't study and you end up a sweeper, a trash collector, a musician playing on the roadside; study and you become an doctor, a lawyer, a professor. But what is with this academic thing anyway. Do I want to be a part of this headache? Will I live the second half of my life in a cubicle filled with never-ending paperwork?

It's all about passion and reality again. I really wish that there was a clear choice for me. I do not ace particularly in any academic subject. Yet I am very interested in the aesthetics. For example, music, food, drama, film, philosophy... Chern Yuen told me a few weeks back not to worry as passions can change ie in his brother's case. Well, for now, it seems that I really need a lot of help to change this attitude of mine. An inspiring teacher perhaps, a caring mentor. Otherwise, I just don't see it...

Talking about pursuing your passion, how many people actually do that, is it wise to do that? Have we not seen people who failed in the process, only to realise that they have to live in reality and not ideals. I was told by a teacher who understands me and whom I admire that I am a very idealistic person, too idealistic in fact. It seems that I have this crazy idea that the world must be perfect, and that there is no evil on earth. Maybe I am naive, or am I just a Dreamer (mypersonality.info)? I really want to try pursuing my passion, to ignore the stares that people give when they know what you are trying to do. But I fear. I fear the "I-told-you-so"s, I fear the laughters and looks people give once I fail.

I have an idea. Zi Kang and I actually came out with this idea. Zi Kang told me, that there are many people out there willing to learn music, but not in its strictest, theoretical form. He was one, and he expressed that his greatest regrets so far in life was not learning piano, and not joining band. So about the idea, it was to open a music school, one that does not follow the boundaries set by the prominent music boards in the world, one that teaches music to whoever is willing to learn, to anyone who just wants to know how to play their favourite songs and sing along. It will be a very flexible system, I'll use my play-by-ear techniques to educate, though I understand some do not have the perfect pitch, and in fact, for those who just want to enjoy the sounds of music, they don't even have to know how to read a score, all is just by ear, and by memory. And whoallah, you can play and sing along with your favourite songs. This idea can be developed in so many ways, I can even expand to teach classical music if requested (as long the person is not too fussy so as to make a prerequisite of at least a diploma).

Zikang will be my business partner, and student :), and we discussed Engkeat being our mascot (LOL which we said was bound to bring business to greater heights), and Chernyuen being some calculation person haha. The idea really got into me and I thought of this idea for days. It seemed good, but I wasn't sure. To me, this idea is not that idealistic, but to some maybe yes. Where do we even get our money to start business? Once again, my fears stop me. Reality jumps back (and remedial next term jumps back into mind). But I am still not giving up hope on this idea. We'll see where society takes me...

Okay, shall not continue with my boring dreamy talk. Till next time guys...

The One With The Namibian Boobies

2009-02-01T08:58:00.008+08:00

I'd like to change the direction of where my posts are going. Maybe a cute conference chronicle (CCC) can cheer (5cs now) this blog a little? So here goes the juicy tale:

Firstly, some background information you guys need to know. Hwa Chong is representing the delegation of Myanmar, and has neighbours of Mozambique (French School) and Namibia (German School). [oh and apparently I was told there is a French and German School somewhere, which reads FAGS ;D]

So around Day 4 of THIMUN, we were meeting up to go out. So we were discussing about the conference, i.e the weird analogies some delegates make in reference to the bad resolutions ("this resolution is like Britney Spears, it's crazy and wild, AND we need to get rid of it", also there was one analogising the male reproductive organ) and interesting speeches (one involving the singing of a full Allah song, and one involving agreesive adressing of the house etc).

Suddenly, Cai Yong, told us something that the Namibian delegate sitting next told him. He said that she said that her friend told her (i know, complicated but how else to phrase it) that someone from the General Assembly kept staring at her breasts and butt.(There are 6 committees in the GA, plus other [unrelated to topic] Commissions like Environmental, Human Rights etc.) She went on to say that it was staring the whole time when in session. And that her friend was too afraid to confront this supposed "Myanmar guy".

There were immediately 4 suspects. Out of the 6 GA committees, our school only had four representatives, and 2 GA committees had no Myanmar delegates.
First suspect: GA1, Seow Yongzhi
Second suspect: GA2, Norman Julius Wanto
Third suspect: GA3, Yours truly (I know that you are gasping now, yeah I agree, it's so impossible that it's me. Thanks for the trust in me anyways. Okay that was rather thick-skinned)
Fourth suspect: GA4, Daniel Soo
(GA5 and GA6 were unrepresented)

So after some serious discussion on who and some not-so-serious ones, we (including Ms Tan Yew Hui and Mr Euguene Chua) came to a conclusion that Daniel was the most probable one (haha no surprise there). So we made some jokes about it and laughed it off, cos we all knew that we did NOT do it. In fact, we were so confused/bemused by that little incident that we had to rethink everything we have done, consciously and sub-consciously. Apparently all denied to the supposed "crime".

On Friday, at the GA plenary session (where all 6 GA committees meet up in a large hall), Norman told me that his Namibian friend also told him the same thing, but here's the thing. There was an extra detail on how that Burmese delegate not only stared at the girl's breasts, but also fell asleep on it (whether on purpose or not this wasn't mentioned). Oooh, complication to the story.

So more debate came. Who did it? Who was the possible culprit? Then now the juiciest detail from Norman. Apparently his Namibian friend told him which committee the culprit was from -- Special Committee 2 -- Tze Liang!?! We were like "huh", quite absurd what... Yeah, and Tze Liang also denied it, after recalling everything that he did (what we all did was mainly debating on resolutions and passing/failing them).

Over dinner, we discussed and also joked about it yet again. Next detail from Norman: the Namibian girl was going to confront the culprit that night at the THIMUN dance. So we will finally know who did it! But it turned out that THIMUN dance was rather smooth sailing, we met no Namibians and everything was relatively okay. All 5 suspects (counting in the new suspect) got through the dance night.

The whole "mystery" unravelled just today, Saturday, (though I am typing this midnight, so technically yesterday). A Namibian delegate took a written note from the "boob victim" to Desmond, and asked him to pass it to the culprit. The contents of the highly sarcastic note is as follows:

"Dear perfect-man specimen,

You are so hot, you tease. I truly noticed all your stares in session but I was way too nervious to act on it. You totally have me

SPEECHLESS!!!

I'm so heartbroken that i will never see you again, but I just couldn't hold back these words any longer. Invite me to Singapore so maybe we could be together and complete both of our dreams.

Love times a million, <3>"

And for those who do not believe, here's evidence.

FRONT PAGE

BACK PAGE

We read in awe and in confusion. We were totally SPEECHLESS about the note. That was when the culprit was revealed. Desmond told everyone, that apparently Rachel was the Namibian delegate of GA6. Which was weird because Myanmar would not even be present there, so she must be sitting with another "M" country. So there was technically NO CULPRIT. Heng ah...

A point raised was that, how could she not know what country sat next to her even after 4 days, and the fact that she even knows that we are from Singapore... I mean roll calling would have made it obvious that there was no Myanmar... But we had no answers to the questions we raised. So we had to accept the wrong impression we had supposedly made... And we all agreed that this is something that we are going to look back on and laugh so hard on.

-The End-

Anti-climatic wasn't it. Haha, that was precisely how I wanted to write this. If you think otherwise, sorry if I failed to make it anti-climatic to you :) My writing skills are not exactly the best. So that marks the end of the tale "The One With The Namibian Boobies". Hope you guys enjoyed it. And to all: I AM enjoying Holland. Just went ice-skating (in the winter) in Amsterdam and it was really great. Don't wanna go back, but I have to :( And since I do have to go back, I'll see you guys in a bit. Bye!

THIMUN Day 1

2009-01-26T21:10:00.002+08:00

First Day of THIMUN = First Day of Chinese New Year, in a different time zone.

Verdict of Conference Day 1: I'd rather be home

All was actually rather enjoyable, the weather, the sightseeing, the above-average food (read: not that great) etc. Until the conference started. On CNY Day 1. What perfect timing. What a great way to start the year.

I feel that I am extremely incompatible with such Westernised souls. They are so different than us Singaporeans/Malaysians, general Asians. I grew up in a place called Subang Jaya in Malaysia. It's no big city area, nor it is a kampung place. My upbringing is humble, traditional, strict, and very much Chinese, and it is such an upbringing that I am exposed to the best of both worlds. I amquiet, reserved and shy in the presence of strangers. I am loud, fun in the presence of very good friends. This I think some know. I do not open up easily and if people want really want to know me, a year or two is definitely not enough. Yes, I respect my traditions, my culture, but I am also half-Westernised with the exposure I had through these years. I am a diluted Chinese, though not half as diluted as total English-speaking city kids, some that I personally made acquaintances with in this conference.

Schools joining THIMUN are usually International schools, or rich schools, that have very American education systems. They are very Americanised, with very heavy American accents, very American attitudes, and very American mindsets. Although they come all over the world, only one dominating culture can be found right here in the World Forum Centre, The Hague. Liberalism is like a trademark of America, and just after one session of lobbying earlier, I found that this dominating culture is so apparent. Many participants are very absorbed with their own ideas, and refuse to listen to other's opinions. Whoever is more dominant or "fiercer" in that sense, wins. I came in wanting to contribute some of my ideas to the supposed merged resolution. However, I wanted to first listen to other's opinions. They were so agressive and unwilling to accept other ideas, so I just listened on. I definitely do not agree with some of their arguments, but I said nothing. Some were off focus, some clauses, were plain redundant, but I kept my mouth shut, and allowed the discussion to go on. Until one point, I gave up trying to interject at appropriate times because it was just so impossible. I'll end up co-submitting the resolution, yes, but that's just what many others will do.

THIMUN is just not for me, it is for the HP people, political (yes I am as well but in a different way, if you get what I mean), agressive, responsive, and filled with ideas. Yeah, you may say I'm from HP, but I'm generally very quiet, cos I'd rather keep it inside my head than to share with everyone. Just ask any teacher. Plus, I never really felt that I belonged there, mainly because of the people there. Slim must be thinking that I shame the good name of HP, but I'll let him think that way, since he doesn't even know the real me, and will never get to know the real me, (cos I don't see myself opening up to him in a million years, he's just not this fatherly figure of friendly figure) Shall not further comment.

Is my upbringing really the "best of both worlds"? Now it just feels as if I'm neither here nor there. I'm stuck in the middle. I just cannot escape the feeling that I am really a nobody, somebody without any accomplishments. "Neither here nor there" is what characterises my life. I am not particularly good in any subjects, to start with. I suck in science and maths. I can deal with the languages, but can you even imagine the billions who are better in English (English speaking world), Chinese (China), Malay (Malays in Malaysia). I am just average in the humanities. I know both Western and Chinese cultures rather well, but when faced with it, I don't belong anywhere. I can't stand the liberalistic tendencies of the Westerners, which the traditional me just cannot accept; I cannot really deal with some of the people in the East too, as the Western part in me finds some of the traditions and beliefs too extreme.

I met a Singaporean yesterday in the hotel, she is however, in the American School of Paris, in other words, studying abroad in France. I find her rather nice. She moved to France after Primary Six, and she talks to me in Singlish, even though she switches to an American accent when she talks to her friends. She is very Westernised, I can tell from the things she does when with her friends, but she was just a normal Singaporean in front of me. I can't help but wonder how she adapted when she first arrived. Maybe it's easier for Singaporeans, I guess, because Singapore is much more Westernised and open than supposed "Muslim nation" Malaysia (quote Najib, who was so wrong on this, look at the election results, dearie) . It is usually thought that there are no differences between Singaporeans and Malaysian, but I guess Malaysians are actually much more conservative than you think.

Okay, so I feel very disappointed, and a little lonely, but not exactly miserable. Thinking of what may be happening back at home is rather saddening. Trying not to think of it actually makes you think of it more. I really miss my family, especially in this cold weather, half way across the earth. I mean, Singapore is just next door, 5 hour bus ride, 45 minute plane ride. I don't miss them as much there. With all this festive cheer, I guess my feelings for my family just heightened.

I'd like to share a song, the lyrics really reflect what I am feeling right now. The song is sung by Kit Chan for Singapore's National Day in 2007. Although I am in no way a Singaporean, I believe that music transcends all boundaries and that the lyrical contents are very reflective of the emotions I am going through. (please note that lyrics are typed based on memory, apologies if there are inaccuracies in the lyrics)

"There's No Place I'd Rather Be"

I've walked the streets of Cairo and Bombay
I've seen the neon signs on old Broadway
I've climbed the Eiffel Tower
The Great Wall in one hour
Experienced sweet and sour but that's okay

Seen Hollywood, the sunsets in LA
The London Bridge, Big Ben, the Thames, UK
I've crossed the River Kwai
Yet still I don't know why
I think of you each night and everyday

There's no place I'd rather be
You'll always be a part of me
And even though, I've roamed the world
It's still my home I long to see
This is where my family
And my friends grew up with me
So I'd cross the skies and sail the seas
To be where I wanna be

Europe has been fun and all so far, but the conference, (I haven't gone through the full thing yet but) it doesn't seem that it'll be fun or memorable. THIMUN Singapore was better, at least I was at my second home and had more confidence. Plus, there weren't that many schools and participating schools were only in Asia-Pacific and Australia. Less culture shock there... Now I'm just hoping for the conference to end so I can go to Amsterdam for some fun. Holland is actually pretty darn great. The architecture, the people, the scenery etc. The food, I'm not too sure. The tooth-shattering bread could do with lots of softening. I like some of the cheeses here but I think I do not at all like most. Also, the food here could do with much less salt, (or maybe it's the cheese).

Anyway, I would still like to end by wishing everyone an Ox-picious "牛" (New) Year and stay healthy! (Yongzhi already sick here in Holland... Hmm...) Hope to see everyone in a week's time! Bye...

《九月九日忆山东兄弟》

2009-01-23T19:37:00.003+08:00

I would first like to start out with a poem written in the Tang Dynasty by excellent poet, Wang Wei (who shares the same surname as me :D) I feel that the poem describes my feelings now so very well.

《九月九日忆山东兄弟》 —— 王维

独在异乡为异客，

每逢佳节倍思亲，

遥知兄弟登高处，

遍插茱萸少一人。

Apologies go to those who might not understand this, as I shall not be explaining the deeper meanings of the poem. In a few minutes time, I will be taking a taxi to Terminal 1, Changi Airport to catch a flight to THIMUN.

Yes, you saw it right, I am not celebrating the Chinese New Year with my family. For all these year, I have NEVER missed CNY, even though I am studying in Singapore. By the time you all see this, it'll be after the new year, as some are already back as early as yesterday, to villages and kampongs that lack internet access.

I miss my parents, my sisters, my family. Yes, it was only 1 months back that I last saw them, but as the poem correctly describes, every holiday season you feel it more. I want to be with them, celebrate the festive cheer with them. I want to listen to the sound of mahjong playing (including playing it myself :P). I want to indulge in the endless plates of food during Reunion Dinner, I want my Chinese New Year goodies (bak kwa... ), (to a lesser extent,) I want my Ang Paus.

But all of these are impossible this year. I shall always remember the year 2009, the year of the ox, the first time missing CNY. To my family back in Malaysia, I love you guys. And to my sister in the USA, I know that you are feeling to way I feel too, and please know that I miss you and love you too.

Is THIMUN an all too glorified event? Is it even worth the trip? Is it worth skipping quality time with my family that I already hardly see? I knew that THIMUN is traditionally in January, but I did not know that it would clash with CNY. If only I knew, I would have rejected the offer...

I shall stop being jealous of you guys. While I'm there, I guess that I'll try to enjoy myself and keep awake during the Conference. Although it might not apply to me, but Happy Lunar New Year to all! Also, I hope for a safe flight for myself at 2250 pm, if that doesn't sound too selfish. Signing off...

北京生病记

2009-01-07T18:49:00.003+08:00

食物中毒、连连呕吐、严重咳嗽、发高达40.0度的烧，肚子又拉又泻，在北京病倒的我求尽中西药方之治疗…… 你也许会说，我对北京这一派的病魔有了很深很深的了解，但这一切，全只是鸡毛蒜皮！

前几天，我在北京生了一场延持一星期的重病。想告诉大家的是，北京生病一点都不好玩。在零下摄氏的污浊天气中，正是病魔多的地方。什么地方都不能去，只能乖乖呆在宿舍里，等待下次拉肚子、下次呕吐。眼望朋友们吃好的、玩好的，心中肯定会吃醋……

庆幸的是，我有了室友们的关心、老师们的无微不至。前阵子的大病让我在寒冷的北京，感受了大家的爱，让我有了几分地感动。想特别感谢曜年给我各种各样的药方，吃了身体有了抵抗力，四原、郑义、家强对我不时的关心与体贴，轮流帮我退烧，志豪大方把床位让给了我，黄鸣勇敢清理我呕出来的恶心东西，子谦、汉龙和十界陪我到二炮总医院去。当然，感谢大家齐心合力把房间给消毒了。对宿舍里两位老师的嘘寒问暖，毫无怨言地为我默默服务，自己却一个大少爷似的，我更是太不应该了！当然，少不了我们北京卫星学校各位老师们：张老师为我又褒粥、又请刮痧大夫、又陪伴我到医院去；江老师送我到二炮总医院、又帮我付医药费；谢老师和洪老师不时进来我房间给我支持与安慰，也给我美禄喝。谢谢你们！

好了，感激的话要说也说不完。来说说在北京治病的经验，好让大家日后如果不幸在北京（我不是在克你们啦），至少有些心理上的准备。我在北京生病的经历中，治病最先做的事是服自己的药。生病期间，吃的不只是西药，在中国，中药是少不了的。首先吃得有自备的保济丸，身体上也涂了不少风油。风油涂了即可见效，不只激发了一连串的拉屎活动 :D，也舒解了喉咙疼痛与咳嗽。在这里想提醒大家一件事，吃了中药，至少要相隔半小时才能吃西药哦！不然，中西大合并身子可能受不了。当然，我也吃了自备的西药，其中包括了班纳杜，咳嗽药丸，泻肚子药等等。其中药方中，大多由朋友那方来。曜年为了我的病而给我了不少自己的药，在此想特别感谢。

吃了自己的药，病还没好该怎么办？这也要问我了！当时吃了自备药方，没想到烧并没有退，还升到40.0度，吓了我一跳。上一回发了39.4的烧，室友们叫我马上冲冷澡，但最后发现这并不对，不然可能会着凉。当时发40度烧室友们又不在，班主任张老师也不在，打给了洪老师他却没接，只躺在床上不知所措。到最后，十界进来我房，告诉我马上跟江老师到二炮总医院去。之后，十界、汉龙和子谦就随着江老师与我，走到了二炮总医院。当时连走路都难，冷风吹袭，我身子包得紧紧的，直冒冷汗。

走着走着，终于到达了二炮总医院。当我们走到所谓“大门”时，就有人告诉我们要从另一个入口进。结果绕道走到另一个所谓“正门”。没想到进了，又有人说要到对面的门诊、急诊部。抱病的我又冒着冷风，走到对面一座叫门诊急诊的建筑物。走到此建筑物，必须先经过一栋正在装修中老建筑物。建筑中吵闹的声音听在耳里，心中开始有点而不爽，但为了治病还要忍！到了门诊部，原来只是为了登记，此时的我开始有些不耐烦了。结果，登记后我们要去“儿童部” 。我们不知道儿童部在哪儿，就开始问一位护士。她说，在门诊栋二楼。我们就乘电梯到二楼，没想到二楼空无一人，再问起另一个护士，她却说要回到对面一栋楼的七楼去。我只好不情愿地在走回刚才那栋楼。到了七楼，我们找到医生了，她就像一般医生一样，问我什么事，身体那里不好，开始了诊断过程。

又没想到，她说要回到对面门诊部抽血、验血，之后才可以帮我开药。我们又无可奈何回到对面去。由一位医生/护士帮我抽血之后，发现要等三十分钟拿验血成绩。拿了验血成绩后，我们又经过建筑基地，回到对面一栋楼，乘电梯到七楼，等医生研究验血报告，再适当开药。开了药，又走回对面的门诊部取药。医生给我开的中药有咳嗽药和一个来自同仁堂的感冒清和泡丸，西药有阻止发炎药和退烧药。我在二炮总医院总共花了165元。看医生的价钱很便宜，只是25元；反而药价贵，一共140元。区区25元的医生费，难怪在中国做医生的那么穷啦！

在北京亲身在一个要求病人们东奔西跑的医院，真的让我大开眼界！江老师过后还跟我说，他以前在新加坡发39度烧，到医院去，医生给他打个针就可以回家了。当然，我不能完全怪医院效率差，张老师过后也跟我说了，这是政府医院，是不花费在昂贵的好药上，本地人发高烧时都使用较为便宜点滴来治病。过后我想了想，也有道理，对二炮总医院的印象也稍微便好。更奇怪的是，在二炮总医院跑来跑去，流了不少冷汗，因此烧也退了一些。

回到宿舍，我便努力吃药，当时朋友们已经打算几天后到北京欢乐谷去玩过山车等等，我不能落人之后！吃了医院开的药还有自己的药，再拉肚子几遍把身体中的毒素都清完，过了当晚，我的身体逐渐健康起来。但为了最佳效果，谢鉴老师教我留在宿舍里在休息几天，同时洪来章老师也跟我谈了几句话，叫我好好照顾自己，并给了我几包美禄喝。

隔晚，张老师为我找来了一位刮痧大夫。这位大夫是张老师的朋友，她本人是盲人，是看不到病人的伤。相反地，她以触摸感受病人的伤，并为他们进行刮痧治疗。她摸了摸我的颈项、身子等等，得到的结论是病得很严重。为了不知道什么是刮痧的朋友么，刮痧其实是中国最传统治疗方法之一，刮痧大夫一般使用牛角来进行治疗。进行刮痧治疗的人一般相信，刮痧能把身体的毒素给“刮”出来，毒素由刮痧大夫“吸”进身子，血液也能流到更顺畅。刮痧会在身上留下红红的印，根据百度百科文章中，西方科学无法解释为什么。以下照片为证明。

整个过程大概五分钟。刮痧大夫显然非常有经验，但她听到我痛苦的呻吟，就不敢在我身上施太多力。整个刮痧过程真的是满痛的。大夫使用牛角使劲往我身上刮，痛得我“啊啊”呻吟。此外，大夫还为我按摩。她十指在我颈项抓紧，按得来是既舒服却又痛的感觉，有点难以解释。到最后，搞得全身红红的，好像被虐待过一样。此时来扮个灰姑娘还挺不错的！但是，我无法解释为什么刮痧后，全身虽然软弱无力，但同时感受身子似乎好些。刮痧大夫说，刮痧了不能冲凉，因为身上还有毒素，必须包的暖暖的，晚上睡觉流汗时把毒素给排出来。刮痧大夫刮完痧之后，竟然一毛钱都没有跟我收，自己回去还要把“吸”的毒给消掉，相信原因是因为她是张老师的朋友。所以呢，在世界每个角落有朋友是很好的事。所谓“在家靠父母，出外靠朋友”。这次，张老师的朋友帮了我，我的朋友则帮我渡过了病魔的缠身，让我深深了解到友情的重要。

总的来说，在北京生病，是福是祸，我至今也不知道。虽然病中会很辛苦，但是病了一场，竟然瘦了下来。洪老师和江老师都说我瘦了，洪老师还开玩笑说，我从子慷变成了子谦（如果你认识他们两兄弟你就会知道我说的是什么）。更何况，一场病让我感受到世间无限的温暖，尤其室友们、朋友们、宿舍两位老师还有北京卫星学校老师，还有中国治病的实况。我历经了那么多，看了西医再看刮痧大夫，中西治疗都试了，但我始终不敢说，我把北京病魔的底给摸清了。病魔，你太残忍了，让我无法捉摸、预测！害少些人吧！要改过自新还不算迟！呵呵，我一定是病傻了，竟然跟病魔“说话”。好了，再次希望大家来到北京，都能照顾好自己的身子。如果不照顾好身子，怎么迎接更好的明天呢？在这个新年里，祝大家龙马精神，身体健康，不要轻易病倒哦！

Something for the Anglo-centric readers who just can’t bear to read posts in Chinese:

Firstly, I chose to write this is Chinese because I am in China and I find it only suitable to write a Chinese post for this blog, but I still consider that some might not like to read long paragraphs of Chinese words. So I’ll summarise what I wrote. My main message is, you think are at the top of the world until you are seriously ill. To support this statement, I was actually planning to try some exotic food the very day I fell ill. I have since tried some but that’s beside the point. Point is, I’ve tried medication and treatment from both the east and west and let me assure it is not exactly enjoyable.

I think I have mentioned enough in my post above, so now it’s up to you guys to take good care of yourselves while you are in Beijing. For those still in Beijing, take care for the last two days we are here. To the next batch and future batches, please do not treat your health lightly. Your health is all you have to ensure an enjoyable stay here in Beijing. This I think I need to restate in English. Here is to a healthy 2009, no ills and only happiness. Good luck all!

Jingle Bell Time, is a Swell Time...

2008-12-15T20:52:00.006+08:00

I'm practically doing nothing here during an uneventful study time. Searching on youtube for Christmas songs and the songs that I like. At the same time finding for some new songs. Everything related to music :)

All of these just makes me miss something so much - my piano! Ever since I went back to Malaysia, I have been playing my piano everyday for hours. I seldom get to do that in Singapore! Shall not elaborate on the situation in Beijing. I'm such in a Christmas mood right now and I am currently fighting the urge to try out "Jingle Bell Rock" on piano again. It's the newest Christmas song I'm addicted to. I want to play all my favourite songs and try out new songs I discovered...

Piano, you shall be missed by your owner... Everyday :'( Music is my life, without music, part of me is gone.

Meanwhile, listen to this genius of a song. Love how it's jazzy, country and rock n' roll all at the same time. Jingle Bell Rock:

Jingle bell, jingle bell, jingle bell rock
Jingle bells swing and jingle bells ring
Snowing and blowing up bushels of fun
Now the jingle hop has begun

Jingle bell, jingle bell, jingle bell rock
Jingle bells chime in jingle bell time
Dancing and prancing in Jingle Bell Square
In the frosty air.

What a bright time, it's the right time
To rock the night away
Jingle bell time is a swell time
To go gliding in a one-horse sleigh

Giddy-up jingle horse, pick up your feet
Jingle around the clock
Mix and a-mingle in the jingling feet
That's the jingle bell,
That's the jingle bell,
That's the jingle bell rock.

Week in a Wrap

2008-12-09T21:19:00.004+08:00

Haven’t been updated my blog for a long long time man. It’s hardly surprising if you do not know where I am. I am in BEIJING!!! Just for the record. Ahahaha…. For a week now! Gone to lots of places seen lots of things… but all is just beginning (it’s clichéd I know)

So we arrived at Terminal 3 Beijing International Airport on 1^st December. Pilot was horrible. Shall not elaborate. A gust of strong wind welcomed us, not that we were caught offguard. We are actually kiasu enough to bring enough clothing to cover ourselves appropriately. Plus, we were lucky because the temperature was actually rather “warm” during our arrival. 10 degree celcius (or was it 11?) Then we got double lucky when we met Olympic gold medallist Lin Dan! Okay so I do not have any photo(s) to prove it but it’s actually true, so you can believe what you want. His was rather cold; he declined taking any more photos after a group of girls rushed towards him for a photo. All well, but it’s just pure luck for us to meet someone popular in large China. I mean, do we even see half of Lee Chong Wei in small Malaysia?

So we got to the boarding house. I got room 11 in floor 11!! So room number being 1111, and house number in Malaysia being 111 (:D) , I unpacked my stuff and settled down. Kudos to previous occupants Run Xian and Zhao Hong (those that I know), for handing us down the cleanest room and least stinky room in floor 11. Seems like I have quite a relationship with the number “1”. Not only I am living in the 11^th room in the 11^th floor, room number being 1111, my address in Malaysia also happens to be 111. Yay to those whose lucky number is 1! Okay, I’m being lame here, moving on…

Let me sum the week up. It’s “orientation week” so far so we don’t actually have a lot of lessons yet, but what we do have is a week’s worth of holiday and touring in Beijing. We went to The Forbidden City, 清华大学, 北京大学, Beijing Zoo, Zoo Plaza, Beijing Planetarium, Bejing City Planning Museum, Tianjin Sino-Singapore Eco-city, Tianjin Nankai Secondary School (alumnus include Zhou Enlai and Wen Jiabao), and, the Great Wall of China (more on that later :D, draft in my laptop) Beijing is well, cold, and polluted, but still it’s great. The pollution is actually less now, (so I heard) because of the Beijing Summer Olympics, wonder if it’s worsening again since the Olympics are gone. It’s winter, and there are “dead” trees all over, very little grass, there are some evergreens, but they generally have a dull green colour. So you imagine it. Brown (trees and ground), dull green (evergreens), grey (sky) and mist (weather). It sure seems dull here but that’s just the colour around us. I wouldn’t say it’s as vibrant as Singapore, but life is good here so far.

Introducing to you my cluster mentor – Miss Esther Cheong!! She’s taking the High Flyers class, otherwise known as 翱翔班. Personally I think that she’s a good teacher. Plus, she’s experienced in Beijing so we feel safer with her (and of course Mr Ang who was in Beijing for all batches except one, so that he could finish his doctorate thesis). It’s actually really easy to talk to her, because it’s always easy for me to talk a bunch of random stuff (and Ms Cheong is exceptionally good at starting random conversation topics). Okay not for the unbelievable: she still remembers me for stepping on the grass, where I got scolded by her and was told to write a 500-word report on “why we should not step on grass” (the soft-copy of the report is still in my laptop :D)

At the bus stop outside The Forbidden City (Last Friday),

Ms Cheong: Huh, Xue Zheng, I scolded you before… (grins)
Xue Zheng : !!! (stun)
Ms Cheong: For stepping on grass! (throws me a glare)
Xue Zheng: Oh my god, Ms Cheong you still remember that? (shocked)
Ms Cheong: OF COURSE!! You ARE a naughty boy (or something like, that I can’t remember)
Xue Zheng: I WAS a naughty boy… (grins and scratches head)

Oops sounds like I am writing a script. Hmm… that can be developed. Okay shall stop publicising my sins to the world right here and do some good. Dear boys and girls, DO NOT step on grass, they are highly important to the ecosystem and the environment. Of course I learnt my lesson (try getting scolded by Ms Cheong then you’ll get what I mean) and I assure that you wouldn’t want to learn it the hard way *winks*. Hope that helps somehow.

There’s another something I’d like to blog about, something that is very close to my heart – food!! Okay I’ll admit I had one of those fatter days and I’m not ashamed to admit that I love food. Hence the topic on Beijing/Chinese food. Beijing food is generally very extreme I’ll say. It’s either too salty/too overwhelming or it is too bland/too tasteless. So far I have eaten in the school (duh), 面爱面 (a pseudo-Japanese noodle/ramen restaurant, a little heavy on the ajinomoto I’d say), 大嘴梁锅贴粥铺 (porridge and wo2-tip3 restaurant, it was great. I say that because Zhihao, Chernhong [my newest friend who also goes by Chernyuen, backstory coming right up] and I spend 120 yuan there while the table of Shijie consisting of 4 spent 50 odd yuan, Engkeat’s table of 3 60 odd yuan and another table of Singaporeans consisting of 7 only spent 155 yuan), 宏状元粥 (not as good as 大嘴梁), 成都美食 (cheap and good, Beijing’s equivalent to Golden Rooster, I especially recommend the 油条), 红叶日本餐厅 (real expensive, wouldn’t really recommend it) some random restaurants out there on fieldtrips that are not so memorable, and also Keppel Land’s great lunch and dinner in Tianjin (简直就是满汉大餐! Although we finished all with a rather impressive record. Ms Cheong warned us of “plate on plate”, because the food will keep on coming, but I guess we showed her another “plate on plate”, one involving the stacking of empty plates. Can you believe that we actually finish the veggies as well? Of course all contributed but kudos to Shijie for eating the most I’d ever seen since I was his roommate from Sec 1) Going for Beijing Roasted Duck this Saturday!

*Skip this if you don’t like intestines and/or exotic food*

One thing I like about Beijing is the abundance of animal intestines and stuff similar to that. One of the first things I asked Ms Cheong was where to get scorpions and stuff in Beijing, (hmm… Shall be making a trip to 王府井 soon). Okay, so you’re getting a little grossed out. But if you know me, you should know that I love these delicacies (Ask Shienyang or Zhihao for a photo of me eating Tulang Merah [mutton bone marrow] in Al-Ameen, or the opinion of the Angmoh sitting opposite who was staring at me like I was mad). I plan to try lots of these delicacies here. Though I have not tried much. Currently, it’s just chicken heart and gizzard from 毛毛羊肉串, pig’s ear from Tianjin lunch, dinner and 长城 lunch), and also beef tongue from 红叶日本餐厅. Personally I ate chicken heart, chicken gizzard, and beef tongue before, but the pig’s ear was new. It was okay I guess but rather sour. But nothing wrong with the ear, love the texture. Beef tongue was nice, love how they marinated it in the Japanese restaurant. Nothing new with the gizzard and heart so that’s that. And although this is unrelated, the 羊肉串 was heavenly!

*Skipping ends here, skipping the entire post is your choice, shall not enforce the skipping rule*

At this juncture, I’d like to introduce my newest friend Chernhong 镇鸿. Sometimes, he goes by Chernyuen 镇源. Chernhong is one interesting guy. Although he insists that his name is Chernyuen, his student card says otherwise. He cites “writing error” as official reason for the “mistake” in naming. While I suggested “ugly handwriting leading to reading error and hence writing error” as a reason, he accuses that the China born Chinese guy doesn’t know how to read “源”. Okay shall stop teasing Chernyuen here, improve on your handwriting, I guess? Ehehe.

Zhihao’s my roommate here. It’s quite fun. He’s good to talk to and play with. We always play “a couple” lol. Though he always starts it, but me, being accustomed to it will 配合. It’s always good to have friends around everywhere I guess. Have got 8 fellow Malaysians scholars accompanying me, not including Wenyi and Shushien, Mee-Jer (Mr) Kong, Mr Ang, and the Anglican High teacher. Don’t worry I will have fun YAY! Have to go now because it’s late. Okay, shall sign off now. Bye :)

English Remedial

2008-08-05T21:23:00.009+08:00

Last week, Mr Lundberg approached me for my handphone number. He told me that Mdm Loke Lai Fun, the Principal Consultant of English (otherwise known as the Head of Department), wanted to look for me. Reasons, he was not sure. But altogether I gave it. Yesterday, an SMB message came, and it stated that I was to attend English remedial lessons conducted in the Boarding School every Monday and Wednesday, starting from August.

The news came all too sudden; there was no time to react. I reacted the way mortals always do – kept silent for hours, did some reflections, sat down and think the event through. I wouldn’t say that English is my strong/strongest subject, but I’d say that I am above-average in a class of Singaporeans. I did pretty well in a class of predominantly Malaysians last year too. So when this came by I’d say that it came as a little shock for me.

When I was thinking and thinking yesterday, horrible thoughts came. It’s arrogance. It’s karma. Behind me, I thought that I was hearing whispers - serves him right for thinking so highly of himself, oh my god, he’s from HP and he needs to attend remedial. Giggles and taunts everywhere. But people have every right to do that, I took too much comfort in the fact that my English standard was above average.

Then the complication came, I had scored 68 in Term 2. Admittedly it isn’t a good score, but it isn’t a bad one either. The first thing that people asked when they know of my admittance to remedial class was “what was your score last term?” Now comes the weird part, Theron told me that he got a C5 last term, yet he wasn’t required to attend remedial. Then it came to me. I know many other fellow scholars who obtained lousier scores than I did, some are even in CSE. Why ME? I thought. Only one way to find out…

If the year 2008 in Hwa Chong ever taught me anything, it was definitely the importance of emails in the Singaporean society. Every complaint, every matter, every issue, emailing was the key. Even a little “yes, 9 o’clock” finds its way to my inbox. Ridiculous as it sounds, it’s true. So I sent an email to the very person who put me into remedial for clarifications, Mdm Loke, and waited for her response.

That very night, I attended remedial for the very first time. My worries had lessened by that time, and I was feeling better after sending that email and after some of my friends’ encouragements. The teacher, Mrs Tan, was very motherly. The night didn’t start off well. Shortly after recording down my name, she said to me, “You are attending a lesson and you didn’t even bother to bring paper and pens?” I gave an explanation which she accepted only after my friends helped to clarify. We had spelling, and though it was an impromptu one for me, it most certainly brought back fond memories of primary school. Difference is that we have to write the meanings of the words spelt. Later on, we did a short worksheet introducing some vocabulary.

The final task that night was to do a summary based on a newspaper cutting she gave us. Mine was about Anwar’s bid to return to Parliament. We were given 10 minutes to read and 20 minutes to write. After finishing, Mrs Tan had called a few to read out their summaries to the class. First person, Kok Leong. Second person, Rui Jie. And then she said “We haven’t heard from Xue Zheng, why not you come out to share with the class?”

I read out my summary, and then she asked a question, “How much of your summary was taken from the news?” I replied that I had mainly paraphrased the main points, but I took the quotes and technical terms word for word. She then commented, “I do not know why you are in my class. I felt that the summary was very well-written.” That comment made that feeling earlier come back, and I didn’t know how and what to respond. Before attending the class, I had told myself to not think highly of my English standards, and yet the comment made me question it altogether again. I cannot help feeling a little tinge of happiness when she said that comment, and I cannot help the satisfaction that came along with it. I cannot stand the sadness it caused when I looked around and saw that I was still in a remedial class, a contrast and a contradiction to whatever was just said. It was supposed to be a compliment, but it made me both happy and sad about it.

Around 7:40pm today, I opened the inbox of my email account, a reply was given to my previous email. The contents of both emails are below.

============================================

Dear Mdm Loke,

I am Wong Xue Zheng from Cluster 3-H2. The reason I am writing this email is to clarify on issues regarding the English Remedial conducted in the boarding school for School Based scholars.

Days ago, I have been told by my English teacher, Mr Jason Lundberg, that you were looking for me, and today the reasons were made clear when I read the EMB message you had posted. As I am a newcomer to the remedial, I have certain queries and I do hope that you can help me clarify them.

First and foremost, I would like to ask about the criteria when choosing students to attend these remedial lessons. Please do not mind my honesty, but I was actually surprised when I first saw my name alongside my friends, where it was stated under the "Remarks" column that I was to attend remedial starting from August. I have not scored badly for the previous two terms, having obtained an A2 and a B3 for the first three terms. Although I admit that they were not extremely good scores, but at least they were average/above-average scores, even amongst the local students. What I cannot fathom is the fact that some Malaysian scholars (similarly in CSE) I know of who scored C5s and C6s are still not required to attend the remedial. I reasoned that there might be a selection process behind this, and thus I sincerely wish to know it so that I can attain some understanding to the situation.

Please do not mistake my intentions, I do not wish to antagonise the decisions made by the school, and I understand that the MOE is paying a large sum purely for the remedial. I certainly appreciate what the school and MOE is doing for me and I understand that this is done out of the good will of both parties. I assure you that I will attend the remedial duly, please do not have any worries! However, I would really like to know how I came to be chosen to attend the remedial so that I could gain some... some closure perhaps. Thank you and sorry for the inconveniences caused!

Regards,
Xue Zheng

============================================

Dear Xue Zheng,

You have definitely struck me as an inquiring and responsible individual and it's good that you have sought to clear your doubts with me.

We use the term tests and assignment scores to help us determine if our scholars need extra help with their learning. Normally, the suggested cut-off score is 65.

However, as the CSE, gifted and mainstream classes all run different programmes, we do not merely look at the raw scores - as you have rightly pointed out in your fellow scholars' performance.

My final decision hinges on your teacher's recommendation and in your case, Mr Lundberg thinks that although you are generally above average in your performance, there were instances when you fumbled, especially in your comprehension skills. So, having the extra push in the last term would be of help to you.

The last lap of the remedial will begin this week and end by 12 Sep. Do let me know if you find the sessions helpful. We welcome constructive feedback as we truly have only your welfare at heart.

I hope this is the closure you seek!

Best regards,
Mdm Loke LF

============================================

After reading Mdm Loke’s reply, I feel perfectly fine. I am going to have to accept the fact that I am going for remedial anyway. The answer that was given to me was exactly the closure I seek as I only wished to know what the exact situation was that led me to be chosen for remedial when the others are not. I have humbled down more right now. Let me, like all newborns in the world, start fresh all over again: my English isn’t great, and I totally agree about Mdm Loke/Mr Lundberg’s comment about my comprehension skills. Let this remedial experience be a lesson in humility for me. How are we going to learn if we don’t fall? A Chinese saying goes like this: “塞翁失马，焉知非福”. After all, you will never know what I will gain from the remedial eventually, right?

HP Meeting

2008-07-23T23:25:00.004+08:00

It’s time for an update perhaps. This post will be dedicated to whomever who feels the same way as me. It shall be one, should I say emotionally fuelled post. A little disappointment, a little beaten, a little reflection, a little of this and a little of that… A post written about a topic that I can no longer express enthusiastically and happily about, but in a disheartened tone.

War was literally erupted in the Humanities Programme: there are the Allies, there are the Opponents, there are bombs, any single thing that you can ever imagine of. What on the world went wrong? Teachers all quarrelling, even involving the very “top”, with roots traceable to none other than some of the HP students. Today, I logged into the Summary Message Board to see a message posted by Yong Xiang. It went like this:

Hello all Sec 3 HP students,

Please attend the HP meeting tomrrow. This meeting is a pure initiative by me to resolve the situation in the Humanities Programme. As such, I have already invited Ms Yeo HJ to be present in the discussion tomorrow.

Venue: Moot Parliament Hall
Time : 4.00pm - 5.30pm(immediately after English common test)

This meeting is compulsory and it is for the betterment for the programme. In tomorrow's meeting, you are encouraged to speak up and participate actively in the discussion. Please come to the meeting well prepared. HP teachers will not be present.

P.S. You may be excused from other commitments to attend this urgent yet important meeting. I will inform all classes whether or not you can be excused tomorrow morning.

Thank you in advance for attending the meeting.

Yong Xiang

Such terms. Such euphemisms. Such deceptions. Phrases like the “the situation in the Humanities Programme”, “for the betterment of the programme”, they trigger thoughts in me. This attempt, this (almost certainly) near-futile attempt to negotiate peace (I term it this way) is too little, too late.

I remembered this young boy on that day in Term 4 last year. He was opting for a special programme. Without much serious consideration, he chose the Humanities Programme, filled with optimistic hopes and ideas of what the future lies for him. The Humanities were never he forte, he was more into the Languages and Arts: he speaks and writes in his languages well, he plays the piano avidly, he sings the melodies that fascinate him, he draws what inspires him, he re-enact scenes that intrigued him… It all started out with a best-fit concept, he reasoned that Literature, which he kinda likes, is Humanities related, he thought it was the natural choice, amidst the Sciences and Maths he was never really attached to in a sentimental or personal level, the Entrepreneurs where he felt that he did not belong, and the Bicultural Studies which he had never dreamed of joining. Yet, he had never ever thought that his decisions would disappoint him. He had NEVER, ever thought that he would half-regret his choice. Worst, he had NEVER thought that the reason for half-regretting was NOT because of the apparent lack of initial interest for the Humanities. In the back of that 14-year-old’s mind, the only reason for a potential regret scene was the clash between fulfilling his passion for Language and Arts and a possible realisation that Humanities was not THE thing to fulfil it. Yet, it was not the case. In fact, he had never regretted that part, and along with a new-found and still growing passion for the Humanities, he sought to excel in his studies. To cut a long story short, he had regretted because of factors concerning the seriously non-humanistic tendencies of certain people in the Programme, (“you” shall be used to address these people for the rest of this post), rendering him helpless and defeated.

The “situation” in the HP, one that you made them out to be, one that you had thoughtlessly created, one that you carelessly perceived, one that you thought represented the general opinions of the rest, one that didn’t exist if it were not for your tactless and inconsiderate antics. How could a tree branch and flower if its roots did not provide it with the required nutrients? How would a human survive without his/her brain giving signals to the body to eat, sleep, drink? And how exactly, can this “problem”, this “situation” be created without you, with all your childish, baseless discontentment and ideas of so-called “truths”?

There is nothing wrong with our teachers, we all have been taught by the same teachers, and even I have not been taught by Ms Cheong, I am confident that all are reasonable people. Every teacher has their teaching styles, as students, we should respect them and adapt to each and every of their unique styles. What I do not understand is why you do not give Ms Teo an entitlement to her own teaching style. She believes in the theory of “Traditional Chinese Medicine” (thus her initials) – bitter but effective. And I think it is true. Ms Teo once told my class, “You know it’s very interesting to teach my H2 kids, because you guys are so used to my ‘insults’ that it just bounces off your skins”. You may say I am writing from the perspective of a loser, well it’s quite obvious that H2 is this so-called more inferior class, I do not deny this fact, but what I believe is that there’s no issue in this “issue” really.

Just on Monday (and today as a result of Mrs Chan’s randomness), I did a Racial Harmony Skit for the school. It tells the story of a quarrel between the three races over the usage of a field to play their respective sports and how someone resolved it. I feel that the lines I said as the mediator of the quarrelling parties are only highly applicable to the so-called “situation” of HP (which I firmly believe does not exist). My lines went like this, “when you share this field, you realise that the world is more peaceful, the air is fresher, the grass is greener, the water is ‘newer’, and naturally, the field becomes ‘bigger’”. How true indeed. If only you could compromise, you could tolerate, you could not see things only for yourselves, you could think in the perspective of our teachers, HP will naturally be better, right? But I don’t see that happening any time in the near future, and that is the sad truth we all have to accept.

我的世界里，明争暗斗处处皆是。我站在在连连战火之中，只能悲叹着人的自私、人的无知、人的幼稚！为什么人类就不能互相忍让、互相容忍呢？为什么人类一定要自私自利地以自己为中心点呢？我不明白，也暂时不想去知道。人生的邪恶太多了，区区十五岁的我看不下！人们整天都想知道，战争为什么会开始，但其实扪心自问，答案看似远在天边，其实它近在眼前，只是看我们是不是肯接受而已。今年开始，我发觉到自己改变了好多，变得文静，对身边的人再也不是以前开朗豪爽的小子。我想，人生的邪恶也渐渐一个一个像我现身了，逃也逃不了。也许，这就是成长吧…… 如今，人文特选班，甚至CSE 的种种瑕疵，我总算看清了…… 问题从来就不是在我们的系统上，是源自不满足、人性原有的邪恶！

To all my “friends” in the Humanities Programme, I am sure that you know that I am not referring to you in this post, and if you feel insulted, I do not know what to say but “guilty conscience”, but as I would not like to present myself as this imbecile who has no respect for others, I shall choose to apologise, no matter how deserving you are for this apology, no matter how right you are and how wrong I am, no matter how wrong you are and how right I am. And remember: everyone is entitled their own opinion; I do not see why I cannot have it. I sure hope that I did myself justice with this post. Goodbye.

Gone · Lost

2008-05-18T17:08:00.013+08:00

Week 9 is gone. Sabbaticals are gone. Friends are gone. Everything is gone.

I do not know how to precisely describe my feelings now. Perhaps a sense of loss, verging on sadness and pity. Or even a sigh. It's just that recently, I started thinking of everything I lost from the start of this year. Many, many losses. I was wondering for quite some time, why this year? Losses seemed to come so frequently this year that it left me confused, overwhelmed, beaten even. The life I so enjoyed for the last 14 years, gone with the wind, taken away with a total change in everything. It may be for the better of my future, the effects remain unseen. But what's the price, the unhappiness I'm going through now?

These losses, I cannot blame anyone but myself. You can say I am the one who chose to loose these things in my life, driving myself to the state I am in right now. The choices I made, the decisions I made, they did not come easily. It came from a change in perspective, the exposure to the Other Side, realisations that my life of the previous 14 years are not what they seemed to be, realisations that friends are not the people you are able to relate to any longer, realisations that no one in my world is true, realisations that this is the real world, this is the ugly human nature.

Perhaps I was too sheltered, sheltered under the roof of my family, the roof of HCIBS, the roof of 1B/2B in 2006 and 2007. The relocation to another class, another programme, another system, filled with strangers who are just different in upbringing of values, different in personalities, different in perceptions made me realise, many many of the ugly side of the us humans. 1B/2B was just too homely, too comfortable, as many students gone through a (dissimilar, but a considerably more) similar upbringing as me in Malaysia. That served as a mask to the many things I realised from the start of the year.

You know, the scholarship to Singapore is all too glorified. It is nothing like you thought it would be. The society here is overtly competitive, it has it's good, but the ugly side is just too vile to behold. It is under the weirdly and inexplicably competitive atmosphere of the Humanities Programme this year that I came to many conclusions and realisations. Call it all you want, "academic rigour", "preparing leaders of tomorrow", they are just doublespeaks, euphemisms masking what is beneath. The people around me in HP, hypocrites. Behind the academic masks they are wearing - competition, backstabbing, hypocritical comments, masked by putting up false friendliness and playing psychological behaviours to their advantages. The pure fakeness of many of these people sometimes make me want to puke. But to survive, I myself, am putting on a mask, to greet them with smiles even when I clearly dislike their actions. Sometimes, I wonder, am I a fake myself. I, have to a certain extent, chose to lose them, by just interacting less with some, by speaking less at their presence, by keeping a low profile. But in the end, it is just impossible to cut off contact with these fake beings.

I "lost" them, out of my own will, perhaps. But what I lost does not stop here. Old friends. I don't know what happened, but the feeling is that we are more distant than ever. The whole special programme and CSE system somewhat pulled us apart? I realised that I had changed by a lot. What I think is getting very different from what my friends from SMTP/EP/BSP/mainstream are thinking, even those in HP. Our views are getting very dissimilar. I do not know if this is the result of HP, and I do not know if this is a good thing or a bad thing, but one thing's for sure, I find it harder to talk to them, and I have a feeling, from the conversations we have, that they feel the same too. They are drifting further away, and soon they might just be gone, just like this.

I hoped that sabbaticals will help heal this a little, and it did. Fun with Mechanics and Constructions, a very interesting sabbatical with fun things to experiment with and thankfully not scienc-y at all. But after duelling with K-Bots, building plastic-straw-paper-clip bridges, and several competitions (including 'winning' the aesthetic design round of the bridge-building), it ended, and those feelings are back again. But after typing this, I suppose I will feel better after letting it out.

And just to point out, I did not and I am not planning to name any names in this post. Hopefully, the effects of these losses will be clear once I grow up and that in the future, I will not regret any decisions I made. To my (true) readers, sorry for the emotions thing in my recent posts, I will try to write something else for a change next time round. Otherwise, for now, goodbye.

Wikipedia Spirit? Hwa Chong Spirit?

2008-04-29T22:14:00.006+08:00

I swore that I will update my blog right after the massive test period, which is thankfully, over (with the exception of a second chemistry test on Monday). And here I am, fulfilling this self-promise. And the reason I chose today to update instead of tomorrow (where I presume many regard as a holiday) is because I have something so very important to me, so relevant to us, something that I had been thinking through and through for hours. (Well, also, I don’t think I would like to bore you guys with an entry, ranting on how boring was Sports Meet, and my usual Chinese Drama feelings.) Firstly, I have to warn you, this entry is going to be a heavy one, a long one, a reflective one. So if you think you might not be able to take this, please hit Alt+F4. I don’t care who really reads my blog anyway.

Yesterday, I stumbled upon Wikipedia’s entry on Hwa Chong Institution, specifically the part on Centre for Scholastic Excellence (CSE). It stated:

“This CSE has been hated by many Sec 3 students. Students who used to be elites in the own classes were transferred to the CSE where they began losing their self-confidence. It has been widely regarded as the worst programmed that could have ever been implemented.” – Wikipedia, on HCI CSE

I don’t know about you. But I felt particular upset with this. From the start, I had always thought that CSE is a perfectly innovative and good system. I don’t think I had even complained about CSE. In fact, I was so upset about it that this particular quote kept twirling in my mind throughout Study Time yesterday. The next day was Biology test; the next day was Chemistry test; I had an English composition due tomorrow, I had a Chinese Newspaper Article Sharing under my belt and all I could think of then was this little remark.

I was thinking about many things. The school’s image, how many people got away with the wrong impression on what Hwa Chong is trying to achieve with FutureSchool@HCI? The person who wrote this, did he really mean what he said, or was that out there just for the effect it is capable of creating? What about the other HCI entries Wikipedia, not CSE, but equally sarcastic? Our school. Our students. What have we become?

Thoughts of sending an email to Mr Hon, our principal, began to fabricate. And, in fact, I did send one. You might not know this, but I was the one who emailed Mr Hon about the matter, which I think led to Mr Sng posting a little paragraph about the vocal and silent “attacks” of CSE on SMB, where he quoted Wikipedia.

I received an email reply from Mr Hon at about 6 am this morning, which was cc-ed to Mr Galvin Sng, Mr Chung Wen Chee, and Mr Joseph Tan, and I believe what he said is true indeed. I am not going to divulge the full contents of the email, as I believe that some things should still be left private, but some things are worth sharing, so that we can all learn. Mr Hon told me, everyone is entitled their opinion, and we should not fault him/her if he/she truly believes in what he/she says. Whoever who wrote that, just know that I do not fault you.

I thought of editing the entry on CSE, (and much more, shall elaborate), Mr Hon encouraged me to do so, but one thing being in the boarding school is that there is no freedom of internet. Currently, the usage of the school server for the boarding school wireless disallows us to neither create an account nor edit anything on Wiki, as the server is shared by many, many members of the school. Attempting to edit in school wouldn’t work either, as it is the same server the school is using. In other words, I cannot do anything until I get back to Malaysia for the holidays, where I finally get to use my own wireless broadband at home.

I now pick out the choicest quote Mr Hon wrote in his reply. “I am not worried about the image of CSE being tarnished. The eventual results of CSE will speak for itself”. What more is to be said? All I can say now is believe what you want to believe about CSE, because the future CSE will be justified.

As I warned, this post will go on, I ain’t stopping until I get everything out, and there is still another second half after this sentence.

The entire CSE entry made me look around for similar remarks in the HCI entry. I found similar comments. Look at these samples:

“Of all students in SMTP, the most outstanding is Javan Lee Tze Han from 3I1, who is cited as "most desperate of attention and Oral Participation points." ”

“Accounts are banned if students are caught playing games or surfing restricted sites. If students want to unban the accounts, they have to get a parent letter and pay a S$10.00 fine. This measure has been met with criticism by many parents and students alike for the material nature of such a punishment was deemed contrary to the philanthropic spirit of the school's founder, Mr Tan Kah Kee.”

“Led by one of the most respected and dedicated teachers in Hwa Chong Institution, Mr Samuel Lim, HP has risen to greater heights under his extraordinary leadership. His principle "Working hand in hand, Commitment Always" has bonded extremely well with his students, and everyone ensures the work handed in is full of chic quality, in order to avoid the usually undesirable packages. Nonetheless, he's one of the greatest teachers HCI has ever employed. ”

“Be retrospective in acquiring valuable historical lessons and skills relevant for the globalised future. You will succeed eventually.”

I do not doubt Mr Lim’s ability to lead for he indeed is a dedicated, responsible teacher. I am not questioning the fact that a 10 dollar fine is imposed to those whose accounts are banned. There are indeed facts in all these entries. But you have to admit that the writer/editor is clever. The statements are cleverly laced with hidden meanings and layers that you can only detect if you are a Hwa Chong student. There is no sense of biasness that can be detected on the surface but there is something lurking beneath. You do not detect any sarcasm in the statements, but in fact the hidden messages, the sarcasms, the biases are written and presented matter-of-factly, which hides the sarcasm and presents some form of “neutrality” and “objectivity”, which Wikipedia often stresses on. These statements, in fact, are reminiscent of Wikipedia-style entries, and are even written in the typicality of many Wikipedia entries, too (minus the hidden layers, messages and sarcasms) The CSE entry is a perfect example which is written in this manner. In this sense, the examples shown are similar to that entry.

The entries made me think… What are we students thinking? Why do such comments appear? Are we so fake as humans that we cleverly lace our sarcasms and hidden messages with what appears as justified statements looking like truths? I would like you, my reader, who already read till this far, to think about this. If you have read this far, I presume that you would do it, as you, are a true reader of my blog.

Leaving that part behind, there is something else in the entry that caught my attention. It is my CCA – Chinese Drama. Yeah, so I promised you that I would not bore you with yet another endless rantings about my CCA, but this really catches me. Under the title “Achievements”, where the majority of the entry focuses on how Track and Field won consecutive champions, how the elite CCAs dominate in competition, and with almost no mention about any other performing arts (besides our school winning Campus Superstar). The mention that “The Chinese Drama Club has also performed excellently in recent years, clinching the Gold Award for the Singapore Youth Festival Central Judging Competition, narrowly losing out on Gold with Honours” seemed to be an oasis in a desert.

Even as a member of Chinese Drama Club, I wouldn’t consider myself biased. This is because past experiences with seniors etc. told me that I will never love Chinese Drama so dearly that it becomes religious. However, I would not be biased towards the other side either as I have absolutely nothing big against Chinese Drama that I hate so much that I rather die than to go to my CCA. Overall, it has always been this neutral status as Chinese Drama can be either very rewarding or taxing. I suppose this gives me some credentials to talk about this quote.

Personally, I thought that the person who edited it must love my CCA a lot, because from what I know, Chinese Drama had never been placed on the same platform as the likes of our school’s elite CCAs, which seemed to only be restricted to sports CCAs. I cannot comment if he went overboard by doing so, but I do not deny the claim, as that was indeed a fact. The absence of any other performing groups CCA, which we are always compared to, highlighted this to me. I do not know what to say about this, but it does seem a little unfair to other CCAs. The spirit of Wikipedia, I presume, does not at all promote this. If any performing arts group were to be involved in the entry, all others should by right be included in order to provide some balance in comparisons.

What I am trying to get at here, after all this, is that the spirit of Wikipedia is very important indeed. Just one entry on HCI amongst the millions of entries in Wikipedia already shows such disregard for this spirit, what am I supposed to think about the others? The CSE entry, the sample entries, the Chinese Drama entry, it all rounds down to this, us being unable to follow the Wiki spirit. Wikipedia even labels the HCI entry as an entry using “peacock terms”, referring to the promotion of a subject without appropriate and objective explanations. Getting everyone to adhere to the Wiki spirit, isn’t easy, I know, but with this near 2-hour effort of writing this entry, I do hope I get to someone… With this, I take my leave from this post, dignified.

===================================

Follow-up

Apparently, my 2 hours had just gone to waste. After I posted the above 2-hours worth of work, my roommate, Shi-Jie, approached me, saying that there was an update in the HCI entry, Wikipedia. Hoping that it is a positive one, I immediately opened a new window to check. To my dismay, this is what I saw:

Under SMTP
"Of all students in SMTP, the most outstanding is Javan Lee Tze Han from 3I1, who is cited as "most desperate of attention and Oral Participation points." Along with him is Darius Chan Yak Weng from 3S2, who is obsessively obsessed with childish acts, such as using a highlighter to highlight his friends or just playing catching in a room*."

Under CSE
"This CSE has been hated by many Sec 3 students. Students who used to be elites in the own classes were transferred to the CSE where they began losing their self-confidence. It has been widely regarded as the worst programmed that could have ever been implemented.

However, there are side arguments to this. CSE does not completely suck, as many would think. You get to carry bags around the school at all times, allowing the weight to crush your back over time. This is good for health because crushed bones are good bones. If people do not want their bones to be crushed by the bags, they could always drink more milk, which provides calcium. With a whole cohort drinking milk, it will promote the milk industry, which will then benefit all because there is prosperity in that industry (more milk sold->better economy->more money). People will be encouraged to grow cows, and to sell milk to these souls belonging to CSE. In that case, we can all promote friendly relationships with cows.

Another fun feature of CSE is the implementation of Homerooms. Teachers get this gigantic sized classroom which they sleep eat teach in, serving as a classroom and as a staffroom for them. For students, it gets even more interesting! Specific details shall not be provided.*"

(*Bolded italics indicates newly updated remarks)

What happened? I don't even find these remotely funny at all!

Untitled Apology

2008-04-05T22:20:00.001+08:00

I question my morality. How morally upright am I? How immoral a person I can be? Privacy is something everyone should have; it is, in essence, a right of your own. You wouldn’t want anyone to know anything about your private secrets; you keep secrets to yourself, yourself and only yourself. I do not challenge the reasons behind this unwritten rule; it is true, from back to front, and I regard this as something of great importance. Invading into someone else’s privacy indeed is a very immoral thing to do. And yet I find myself breaking this unwritten rule today. Where has my respect gone? Is this atrocious act a stark reflection me as a whole?

They often say, “Curiosity killed the cat”. A simple curious thought, led to information that was better left not divulged, stories that were rather left untold by a friend. Seeing the unused laptop left on a table, my original intention was to make use of the internet. I forgot how it all happened, but soon I found myself looking through the files and folders of the laptop. Folders I was told not to see, files of which contents I did not know. I regarded those as his privacy, I had no plans of seeing them, and I never ever dreamed of even knowing the contents. Yet they were such innocently named files, and you had no idea what contents it might contain. Thinking it might just be something regular, I opened a file or two, without knowing that it had the potential to expose the darkest secrets someone could ever have…

I am truly, truly sorry, and I hope I'm not too late. I never meant to invade your privacy. I never intended to look around longer than I should have. When I saw the files, I wasn’t giggling with glee, I wasn’t having fun or delight, and neither was I planning to tell this piece of information to anyone. What was going through my mind while seeing the files were very serious ones, ones that tried to understand, that attempted to empathise.

You caught me in the act; the cold, blank stare you gave me was heavy enough to put a hill of guilt on me. You told me it was okay, you weren’t angry with me, that I shouldn’t worry, that I should just forget it… The fact that you are not angry made me feel ten times worse. I cannot believe I even did such a thing to you! It was betraying your trust – the trust of a good friend I had known for quite some time. I wanted you to be angry, to be pissed off by my act, as it would make me feel understand the consequences of my act, but you told me it wouldn’t help the situation. I am indeed remorseful for what I did to you, your privacy, your secrets. The lack of dark secrets in my life resulted in the assumption that everyone was the same as me. You forgave me, just like that, and I shall never, ever be justified now…

As your friend, one who does care, your secrets are definitely safe with me. I know that I shall never be able to empathise fully with your situation, but to a certain extent, I do know what you are going through. I will never ever think of telling anything I know to anyone, you have my promise. A lesson for life, a blessing in disguise, I learnt something so valuable from you that many will never get the chance to learn: knowing what’s right and wrong isn’t really anything, it is about experiencing what’s right and wrong, and then learning from the process. I really thank you for this lesson learnt, as I official close this chapter of my life with once again, my apologies…

Unexpected Visit by My Primary School Teacher

2008-02-24T22:09:00.003+08:00

While I was busy mugging my History at the benches below Hall A after dinner today (tomorrow's the much dreaded History test!!), all of a sudden, a mixture of three rather loud voices nearby brought my attention to some three people walking towards the bench next to me. Upon closer inspection, it was i) Kai Rou (fellow boarder, primary school friend) , ii) my primary school teacher 许老师, (Ms? Mdm? Mrs? Xu [I'm not sure of her marital status]. It took me quite a while to realise who was that anyway) and iii) a slightly plump man I couldn't recognise. Naturally, the first thing I said was “hi” to my teacher (and Kai Rou and that man, a certain “Mr. Francis”), she said “hi” as well. I then expressed my shock by her sudden visit and questioned her about the reason of the visit. She said it was to see how we're doing and to do a certain “report”. Well, fair enough.

Although that teacher in particular did not teach me during my primary school days in Malaysia, somehow she knows me, and I know her. We (Kai Rou, Chern Yuen [they were already finding him once they came by], Shu Shien [who joined in a little later] and I) discussed with them about life in Singapore, school, and then we brought them around in the boarding school. Apparently, they were very much impressed, as everyone is when they see the excellent architectural design and the efficient system of our boarding school. With the occasional inclusion of Shien Yang and Zhi Hao (they were apparently unimpressed by the attitude of my teacher's partner Mr. Francis when apparently he said some things that were insensitive to their respective primary schools and in particular, ahem, Shien Yang's body size [thus the need for a Fat Acceptance Club]), we showed them around, the computer room, the laundrette, the music room, the fitness centre... It concluded rather fast. And then we decided to tour them around Hwa Chong.

We walked past the international school, into C block, across the canteen, on to Kah Kee Hall, out Ooi Tiong Ham hall, to the Tan Kah Kee statue, down the lane, into the toilet block, out through the IH homerooms, up to the multi-storey carpark, further our way to the SALT centre, then it was back to the international school, back to the boarding school, and then it was bye-bye (for we need to prepare for study time).

It was a very satisfying experience I'd say, being tour guide for my teacher, bringing them around Hwa Chong. While we were brought around by seniors during the Sec 1 Orientation, this time round, Chern Yuen and I were guides. Throughout the tour, it was talkative me, who went on and on about the school's history, the clock tower being a national monument, the consortium system, the CSE system we're currently in, the attendance taking using EZ-link, level assembly vs. flag raising, teachers' homerooms being like a “home” to both teachers and students, furniture in the teachers' homerooms, HCI being the only school with a multi-storey carpark, SALT centre bring named after our distinguished alumnus Ong Teng Cheong, how Hwa Chong rented SIM our land for a cheap price... Guess they might be a bit overwhelmed by too much information, but talking a lot is somewhat my forte, I talk and talk non-stop once I start and it is difficult for me to stop, prior training in speech-making during primary school days must have helped.

But of course, I shall not discount Chern Yuen's role as a guide, although he had less things to say as compared with freakishly talkative me, it was ultimately a collaboration between Chern Yuen and I that completed the tour as we complemented each other. Good job, Chern Yuen (and me of course)! Thanks to Kai Rou and Shu Shien too, who helped us out by sharing to them about St. Nicholas when we couldn't cater to both of them at once.

During the tour, I was especially excited to share about CSE and HP. Despite initial teething problems, I came to like both (CSE and HP) since the very start. I told them about travelling from lesson to lesson, carrying our bags around, the mentoring system in CSE, good things about HP (while Chern Yuen went on about SMTP), the IH homerooms of Ms Cheong, Ms Gwee and Mr Lim, the interior design of their homerooms, how HP lessons are conducted in their homerooms. Somehow, amongst all academic rigour and inconveniences, I found that I like CSE and HP very much indeed, and in fact, my liking is increasing by the day. Maybe it is the mere exhilaration of accomplishing HP tasks/assignments and the thrill of the ever-changing CSE that elevates my liking day by day :)

When they finally left, that was when I walked back to our rooms, saying “phew”. Firstly, it was because I wasted so much breath explaining every single thing I can think of about my school. Secondly, the weather was SO DAMN HUMID that we were sweating profusely by the time it ended.

On the negative side, once I started to loosen up a little in my room, Shien Yang and Zhi Hao were downstairs complaining to me about them... :P But you know what, I think that I'd prefer to end on a positive note. Overall, I thought that it was thoughtful of my teacher to even think of visiting us even though we had long graduated from primary school, and it was definitely a fun experience showing you guys around!

Urbansounds + CNY Performances

2008-02-17T22:06:00.003+08:00

It has been a while since I last updated my blog. Despite my task to update my blog at least once a week religiously, I skipped the CNY week. Okay, so let's say that I took a break for the holidays? Seriously speaking, I enjoy the weekly blogging time that I have. After having so much fun throughout the weekend (especially this week – shall elaborate further), when I think of the unfinished homework gathered, blogging is the only “homework” that I look forward to do, instead of the routine academic papers and readings that Humanities students are often expected to do. Not that I dislike humanities, I love humanities (Geog and Literature, not so much on History) and languages (all three! English, Chinese and Malay [third language subject all Malaysian scholars are expected to take]), only that I prefer writing on a free topic, instead of the usual “How far”s, “To what extent”s, and “Discuss”s sort of questions that HP students usually get for homework.

So I had a really enjoyable weekend, up till the point when I realized that I have not finished a lot of homework :P. But then the delay in my homework had nothing to do with my lack-of-discipline, I WAS very much engaged in interesting activities during the weekend! I had two performances to do, one was on Saturday, and the other on Sunday. And Saturday night was Urbansound performance <3! So the only free time to do homework was actually after lunch on Sunday.

I'd prefer to talk about the performances first. The usual threesome of Shien Yang, Zhi Hao and I (“马来帮”–crudely translated as “Malay Gang” [kudos to Ms Shieh for this “creative” name] ), plus Benjamin Chin, were grouped up to perform tongue-twisters in Chinese for Saturday's CNY celebration for foreign students in Drama Centre and Sunday's CNY celebration for school alumnus in Cheng Yi Block (in College section). This particular performance was previously done during last year's Chinese Drama annual performance as a “performance within a performance” where we performed the tongue-twisters in the play itself, so performing that wasn't all that hard. Mainly revising the old techniques used and devising new ones. What's new is the addition of a solo part for us all. Being confidently bilingual (in my case, trilingual) HC students, it ain't much of a problem for any of us. Anyway, I enjoy the very thrill of completing a tongue-twister and performing in front of a crowd (depending on what the performance is). Furthermore, doing it with friends makes it much more enjoyable thing.

For the Saturday performance, the audiences were “foreign students/scholars”, which means we were performing to the familiar faces in the boarding school – my fellow Malaysian scholars ex-classmates, juniors, seniors, PRC, Indonesian, Vietnamese scholars. But we were forthcoming, professional, and finished the performance with the crowd erupting with enthusiastic applause. The satisfaction is truly indescribable and the simple thrill of it simply rocked! And my peers did not tease us for the performance :D.

For the Sunday performance, we kinda screwed it up due to domino effect Benjamin created with his mistake, and only Shien Yang managed to evade his trap. But we got over it I'd say rather quickly, judging at the pace we were going, which was somehow faster than normal (especially towards the end). Anyway, it still managed to get applauses. When we settled for a seat at the college auditorium, somehow we were praised endlessly by some alumnus we encountered sitting in front of us, it was like they did not even detect our mistakes. An uncle (you know, calling him a “senior” seems kinda weird to me) even mistook us to be of Chinese nationalities, presumably because of our precise, clear pronunciation in Chinese and perhaps of our smoothness in presenting the tongue-twisters. Anyway, we were supposed to get an angpau for our performance as a token of appreciation. However, the emcees ignored us somehow and we didn't get the angpau. Okay, so I wasn't very much fussed about the money, I suspect it's a small amount anyway, I was just a little disturbed by the fact that our performance had gone unacknowledged. Never mind, I suppose things like that happen rather often.

Moving on to Talentnight 2008 Urbansounds, the result of being very much hyped up after an okay CCA day. Somehow we (now the foursome of Cui Sheng, Shien Yang [again], Zhi Hao [again] and I [again] – the “华岗帮”[translated as Chinese Drama Gang]) went “high” that day and joined this Talentnight thing without much thought and discussion, and we pulled Theron in to sing with us, and this founded our Talentnight group!

So after two rehearsals and a few practises on our own part, this was it. And I personally thought that they screwed it up. Well, the singing I mean, I was the pianist. After the first chorus, the whole song went in a wrong key. Furthermore, a few problems with the microphone and the PA system contributed. Yeah, so we had lots and lots and lots of cheers and applause (sarcastic ones I presumed). So after our performance I was rather unhappy, and I scolded my team a little, sorry about that though. I momentarily forgotten that we joined this purely for fun, but I just wanted us to do the best that we can. Now here's the surprise, almost everyone we asked said that our performance was very good, which actually shocked me big time, even boarding staffs Ms Pauline Yee and Ms Quah had endless praises. At first, I thought they were being purely sarcastic, then only their sincerity in their tones struck me.

Therefore, I came out with a few explanations for this. Firstly, the audiences are tone deaf. Impossible I know. Just listed this as fun factor. Moving on... our friends are being friends. You know, friends would try not to hurt you, I guess. But anyway, my main theory is that it has nothing to with the audiences and our friends. The voices of my friends were so amplified with the microphones that it covered the melody of the piano that did not have a microphone attached to it (I can't really hear myself even playing even though I banged the piano throughout the whole song trying to balance their voices). Therefore, once the audience hears a correct melody and not a out-of-tune one, the transposed version did not matter, the wrong key did not matter, it was fine by them. Best part – we were asked to perform for the Boarding School Investiture Dinner. Just hope that they don't screw up the next time!

It's funny how people keep praising us even when I felt that we screwed up. The tongue-twister performance, the talentnight performance... Maybe it's because the standards I set for myself is too high? Anyway, that isn't a bad thing. Always aim for the sky, because even if you don't reach the sky, you reach the clouds! Just play it safe. Okay, I better conclude this blogpost faster so that I could finish my homework as soon as possible. In conclusion, I had a great weekend! Hmm... if I just could get myself off all these homework now...

Chinatown CNY Heritage Trail

2008-01-31T22:26:00.000+08:00

A simple suggestion from Miss Pek who asked me to build up my portfolio by doing more leadership activities to contrast with my academic excellence led to the Community Involvement Project at Chinatown today. Today, us students from Hwa Chong Institution will play student leaders, or rather tour guides, bringing students from other schools around Chinatown in a heritage trail, introducing places of interests at Chinatown, and what relations they had with the upcoming Chinese New Year.

So the plan was for all to meet up at the Multi-storey Carpark at 3:15 pm to board a mini bus to Chinatown Point chartered by the school. Without the help of Mrs Ke Ee Kian, Ms Pek Ru Heng and Mr Tan Hock Chye, this was supposedly not possible as my Physics Laboratory Lesson with Mr Tan ends only at 4:00 pm. And thanks to Ms Pek, who reflected this to Mrs Ke, who in turn posted a message to Mr Tan, informing him about our need to take an early leave during his lesson.

After reaching there, we were briefed about the trail. It was soon revealed the the previous batch on yesterday left a bad impression on the school, and were somewhat “freaked out” by the ITE (Institute of Technical Education) students, with numeral complaints received by their teachers. Actually, I was rather nervous to know that we would be leading ITE students. Furthermore, those with stereotype labels of being mischievous, out-of-control students. Not that we Hwa Chong-ians are proud and snobbish, it was just that it scared me a little to know that I would be interacting with people that I wouldn't normally be found with. It is as what Mr Yap says, we may not find ourselves interacting with these people in our everyday lives, but we still have to give it a try.

Grouping with Long Peng, who is from SMTP, (oh and I do not know him previously), we were supposed to bring a group of those students (who are predominantly non-Chinese, as they were the targeted people for the project itself – to introduce Chinese culture to them) around Chinatown. Upon meeting them, it was rather awkward when the teacher tried breaking the ice by asking both of us to introduce ourselves. I said “Hi, my name is Xue Zheng” (pronouned “Shwear Jerng”). Somehow, in a twist unknown to well, most prominently, me, they misheard my name. I have now adopted the name of my English teacher, “Jason”, due to that leeeetle mishearing. Fine, so throughout the tour, I was referred to as “Jason”. =.= Took some time for me to get used to it, but generally okay as “Jason” (sort of) rhymed with my name.

The tour started. First stop, an exhibition on CNY set up by the CDC held in Chinatown Point. Once we went in, a few demanded that we go faster. “I already know all this,” a few of them declared to me. So, well, we didn't stay there long and left for other stops. Along the way, I found out that my teammate, Long Peng, was rather (make that very) passive. We went to the overhead bridge to show them the mascots for this year's CNY – Disney characters Mickey and Minnie as it is the Year of the Rat, walked down Pagoda Street, saw many ornaments, decorations and delicacies for CNY; and yet, I was the only one doing all the explaining most of the time, throughout the entire trail. Long Peng only spoke when I forced or asked him to, speaking mostly short sentences, making the process rather long for me. Furthermore, they weren't interested at all, most of the time, it was a one-sided conversation.

In order to better fit in with them, as we were told to (due to the “mistake” the previous batch made), I had to laugh at their jokes, their vulgarities, which I don't find funny most of the times. A friend of mine from the previous batch was telling me just last night that an ITE student asked him if he wanted to smoke, and that shocked him quite a bit. I got something along the same lines by two among them. Maybe I look a little nerdy or something, they did not ask me whether I wanted to smoke, but they asked me if they could smoke. I shrugged, saying “anything”, though I know they weren't supposed to smoke, under the age of 18 (they are all 17). And so I breathed in the harmful air they breathed out.

However, I could see the seriousness coming out of them, when we entered the Chinese temple for the tour (those two stopped smoking then), although it may not be a hundred per cent seriousness. I see it especially from the Chinese in my group, the Malays and Indians in my group still weren't serious, but much better from the attitudes I received from them for the previous twenty minutes.

Even though they still played in the restroom for about ten minutes (while I waited), turned off all the lights of the restrooms, made a considerable amount of noise in a temple and a few attempts to give me a hard time, generally they were rather cooperative, especially for the last half an hour. Some of them, I could see, weren't that bad as ITE students are often stereotyped, with some moral values still attached to them, when they asked some others not to give me a bad time.

Somehow, we were the fastest team to conclude, maybe because of my solo attempts to explain my points cut short the time if two people were to explain equally. And so I dismissed them, and then breathed normally again, the tension and nervousness just now all gone. Feeling THIRSTY, (wouldn't you if you were talking for an hour) I bought ice-cream from a vendor and indulged with satisfaction.

Soon after, other groups concluded. We, or rather the organisers and Mr Yap, took group pictures, and then the rest were dismissed (Mr Yap took my handphone throughout the trail, as my phone had the highest camera resolution, and so I got the pictures for free in my handphone!). We from Hwa Chong then shared experiences. I felt a tinge of sorriness for Chen Yang, who was laughed at by his abysmal attempts to speak English fluently as he was a Chinese scholar who just came to Singapore in hopes of a better studying environment that would eventually lead to a better life and job. I empathise with him, as Malaysian scholars like me, are often despised but some childish Singaporeans, who referred us as “foreign talent” in an utmost sarcastic manners, and sometimes addressed us using a clinical terms such as “Eh (rudely), Malaysian scholars!”, things like that. But that is only a minority of Singaporeans who I think are childish, the rest are fine, some are even nice people.

Anyway, through this experience, a part of me changed. Some ITE students aren't THAT mischievous, uncontrollable after all as I always pictured them to be (well, although some ARE what I pictured ITE students to be). But of course, I would most certainly prefer the company of fellow Hwa Chong-ians. Even though what we get from this, is only a mere four hours of community work hours, I think what I learnt is very valuable indeed. As I previously mentioned in one of my posts, Hwa Chong is a place where opportunities come and go, and this opportunity to interact with ITE students, was most certainly an eye-opening and interesting one, even my legs ached horribly after the event (and they still are :D). Kudos to all who made today's trail much better than yesterday's, the list of thanks goes to the organisers Kreta Ayer Community Centre, Community Development Council, Aphelion teacher organisers, and well, us for our efforts!

HP

2008-01-23T16:46:00.000+08:00

After a fruitful module on HRP (Humanities Research Paper), we, students from H1, H2 and H3 were asked to stay back, for a few very important, serious issues were to be addressed. Mr Samuel Lim started by telling us about emails he received from the “top”, saying that HP boys in particular were complaining about the Programme, the teachers. Ms Esther Cheong elaborated by asking us to just shoot out any problems we have about the programme, what do we dislike about the programme. Nobody responded. And I wondered whether it was guilty conscience.

A few speakers spoke up, mentioning it was actually the CSE system that was the source of problem, how the lack of classing system led to lack of class spirit and class bondings. Even with the clusters we are grouped in, we are eventually split to join different people from different classes for our subject groupings. Some said it was the transitional period that was our problem – all of a sudden, wham, this CSE system was just thrown to us, while the orientation only lasted a short period of 3 days.

Addressing all these, Ms Cheong and Mr Lim told us that we shouldn't be complaining about HP then, it was the whole new system that was the source of the problem. Mr Lim then told us the trouble this led to, all 4 HP teachers receiving emails from the “top”, requesting for the teacher in HP to be “kinder”, informing them about our qualms. Ms Cheong joined in with occasional comments. He further urged us to discuss any problems we might face in HP, expressing the desire to improve HP, while Ms Cheong welcomed all to their home rooms* any time if we wanted to talk, to have a snack, to chit chat. (*Our HP teachers have home rooms, in conjunction with CSE, it would be a class room transformed into their very own office, classroom, “home”, where students take lessons there, find their teachers there)

From this I saw the sincerity of our teachers, the passion they have, the concern they have for us. Mr Lim then asked whether if it was a question of the heavy workload of HP. Some people murmured some things. He told us it was just the transitional period, and he would be doing us a great injustice if we joined HP just to slack and do nothing. I agree with him. Every single one of us joined HP, knowing that the workload would be heavy. So what was the real problem?

It was then someone brought out the point that H2 (my cluster) feels very “left out”. It reflected what I felt. For H2, it was different sets of teachers, instead of Ms Cheong for Geography and Mr Lim for History, what H1 and H3 has, we had Ms Gwee for Geography and Ms Teo for History. Every single bonding Ms Cheong and Mr Lim had with their students, we missed out. Furthermore, it contributed that Ms Teo Cheok Mei did not have a home room, where our cluster H2 could hang out for snacks and have chit chat sessions with her, while Ms Gwee's home room isn't what you would call homely (just tables and chairs and shelves, unlike Mr Lim's mini fountain and a settee in his home room and Ms Cheong's couch and some cookies for sharing in hers “they [cookies] are all gone in a day!” , she exclaimed.) Thus, it meant that the majority of students in HP are under Mr Lim and Ms Cheong, and they have more opportunities to do things as a group. Mr Lim and Ms Cheong assured us that they know about the inconveniences we faced without a class, how class spirit and bonding didn't apply to us any longer, told us that they knew what H2 was facing, with the different teachers and all, and then promised us that we would have more activities together, for example, all HP students eating in their home rooms together, doing every single thing as a family. I liked this idea. HP as a huge family.

Then Ms Cheong said “I won't be humble. All 4 of us are very excellent teachers. Yes, don't laugh. Like me, I could just walk out of this school and still get paid. And yet here we are talking to you” Their dedication really touched me. True, with qualifications like theirs, they could just resign, find another job with a higher pay. But they stayed, for their love and passion for HP!

It was later revealed that majority of the complains made were by Aphelion boys, my consortium. Apparently, some among us Aphelions complained to the “top”, our DC (Director of Consortium), about our discontent about HP. Mr Lim explained that even though if what we complained about was about CSE, teachers would see it as a complaint by a HP student, and that linked that complaint to HP. He urged us to mention accurately whatever we want to complain about, if it was the system, state that clearly, if it was about HP, state that clearly too, or alternatively, approach him. Actually, I was surprised. Who would have done a thing? Then it came to me, I think that a few people (not me) actually complained to Ms Pek about our teachers in HP during the first few Maths lessons. Maybe Ms Pek told Mrs Ke, the DC of Aphelion? I do not know. Just a guess.

After all these, Mr Lim and Ms Cheong promised for a better HP. Who can say “no” to the great enthusiasm of theirs? For that, I truly respect all my HP teachers. I big thank you to you guys, I am really touched. I don't care what my SMTP friends say about HP, (and what I say about their programme in turn oops *blushes*), Humanities Programme is no doubt a programme of substance, a programme of distinction, and a programme for outstanding students, with all these dedicated and passionate teachers, who do not waver even under the fiercest circumstances! HP all the way!